Limeyninja

Thanks Angelo

2011-03-13T19:25:00.003-05:00

I have neglected blogging, mostly because I have not been writing as often as I should. But today, after reading good old Mr. Angelo Barovier's newly formed blog Eclectickle, I decided I should write something, because like him, he's doing it partially as a way to force himself to write, which is also one reason I also started doing it. Because really, do I have anything interesting to say? I don't think so. Well, maybe something slightly interesting, but nothing most would remember 24 hours later. But should I be writing if I have nothing to say, shouldn't I just write in a journal? Hmmm, so many things to ponder.

Well, one thing that occupies my mind these days is that of my child which shall be sprung forth into this world come the end of the summer. What kind of wonderful skills will I teach him/her? They will undoubtedly be a master of several martial arts forms, that's for sure, their training will start at a very early age. I will also have them playing Dungeons and Dragons by the time they're six. I will have to make a rather detailed regiment of media consumption, as they will be raised on a steady diet of martial arts films and anime/manga/comic books. I am torn as to what I should do about the Disney dilemma. I'm not a big fan of Disney animation, mostly because of the way they have 'for a limited time only' releases of their films so as to jack up the demand. So I really don't want to go down that route, however, I do have fond memories of watching Sleeping Beauty and The Fox and The Hound as a child.

As far as my film consumption goes, its been all over the place lately. I finally got Enter the Void on Blu-ray, which is still one of my favourite films from the last decade. I got The Walking Dead on Blu-ray also, which while flawed, is still pretty great. I was a little skeptical of the additional characters of Merle and Daryl, but if I think they're going with Merle the way I think they're going, making him the Guvenor, then I accept that decision. Plus, Michonne will apparently be in season 2, and thats pretty exciting, because the show is definitely missing swords.

Friday, November 15th, 2002

2011-01-28T20:31:00.003-05:00

My writing has been lazy as of late. Well, not that lazy, I got a fancy new book from Rebecca for Christmas which I have been writing in a fair bit, but none of it is shareable, at least not in its current form. So instead, I've gone back to the archives, and am unearthing some classic Roachstaff tales.

Friday, November 15th, 2002

After finishing a wonderful day of teaching small children the wonders of the English Language I gave Rebecca a kiss goodbye and boarded a bus to the wonderful city of Pusan. Located on the South-West coast of South Korea, it is home to the Pusan International Film Festival, the reason for my trip.

I boarded the bus at 8:20pm and arrived in Pusan at 1:30am. It was a long trip. But alas, I made it. Unfortunately, a problem arose upon my arrival. I had two nights booked at a Hostel in Pusan, on Yeougdo Island which is on the south end of the city. The Lonely Planet Korea guide we have, located the Express Bus Terminal in the centre of Pusan. However, since its publishing, the Express Bus Terminal must have moved to the North most tip of the city. The subways and buses had stopped running, and a taxi would have been more than I had brought for the trip, so I began to walk. And Walk.

I walked up a small mountain towards Beomosa temple, but, due to the fact that it was 2:30am and pitch black outside, I could see nothing (I would later visit this temple with my sister almost a year later). So, I turned around and headed back to civilization. I walked for most of the night, stopping from 4am - 5am at a PC house, where I talked briefly to Kyle. Then, again, I set off.

At 5:30am the subways opened. I travelled to Haeundae beach, the location of the first film I would be viewing. I walked out to the acutally beach, it was 6:30am, and I decided I should watch the sunrise. When I arrived at the beach, I found it was littered with hundreds of people, armed with cameras, all waiting for this sunset. It must be something I thought to myself. And was right. I witnessed, in my tired and delirious state, the most breathtaking sunrise on earth, at least from my experience. I stood in awe for about an hour before deciding to explore the area. I had until 2pm, the time the first film started. It was only 7:30am.

To the North was a massive hill covered in homes, resembling something I would see on the Riviera (and Haeundae beach is known as the Riviera of Korea) and to the South was another massive hill covered in forest. I decided to head for the forest.

Along the seaside was a cliff which I scaled. I walked up the hill and found a temple. The entire hill was filled with old people walking, running and doing other forms of exercise. I ran out of film in the camera at this point. I decided to head to the other hill. I walked along the quaint little boardwalk and entered the other district.

The seaside was filled with restaurants, all which served fish, all which had walls of aquariums, filled to the brim with every type of fish and crustacean imaginable. I wondered around the docks and began to scale the hill. I saw a sign for "The Sherlock Holmes Mystery Library." That must be nice I thought.

I followed the road up the hill, and the higher I climbed, the more European things became. At the top was a pagoda with a gorgeous view of the sea. While I was up there, I a Korean woman wanted to have her picture taken with me. I cheerfully obliged, although her husband didn't look to happy about it.

I headed towards this Mystery Library, but after a few hours of trekking, it turned out to be nothing more than a overpriced cafe that had pictures of mystery authors and a few of their books on shelves in the back.

My feet began to ache. I decided to head towards the theatre. I made it there around 11:30am. Still early. What to do. I ate lunch, and then found a place called "see". I went in, and it was a video house. Kyle had told me about these. You can rent films, and watch them in small private booths. So I did so. I rented D-Tox, Stallones latest, which I don't believe has been released in North America yet. And for good reason. It stunk. But the experience of sitting in this small booth with a huge comfy
chair was something else. After that, it was time for the movie.

I watched my first film, "Public Enemy", which was alright. Nothing great. So, it was time to head to downtown Pusan, to the PIFF Square. When I got there I was amazed. The largest crowd of people I have ever seen littered the streets. I could barely move. I wondered around for an hour, making sure to familiarize myself with my surroundings. Then I headed off the my Hostel, which was tucked away in the mountains on Yeoungdo Island. I was the only non-asian person at this Hostel, and only one person spoke English, a Korean-Canadian from Toronto named Andy. We met while I was being interviewed by a TV station as to my likes and dislikes of the Hostel and the festival.

Around midnight I fell asleep. I have been up for 40 hours. My feet ached. I had the biggest blister on my foot, larger than a toonie. I had bought a new roll of film to take pictures of the mass crowds, so I also took one of this mammoth blister.

I awoke at 7am and set off for the PIFF square. First I saw an incredible Korean film called "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance", which didn't sit well with some people the audience. Next I watch "A Snake of June", the latest opus from one of Japans greatest contemporary directors Shinya Tsukamoto.

Yes Mr. Chris Barry, it was incredible. It was very erotic, which I didn't expect, but incredible none the less.

I headed back to the bus station for the trip home. I boared the bus at 4:20pm. The trip home took 8 hours to travel 350km. Traffic in this country is terrible. By the time I got back to Seoul, all buses and subways again had stopped running, and I didn't have enough for a cab, so again, I wandered the streets, hungout with an elderly security guard for awhile, until 5:30am when the subways started again.

I arrived at home at 7am, and slept until 8:30am, at which point I woke and went to work, teaching those small kids. Altogether, from 8am Friday morning, until 11:30pm Monday night, I slept in a bed for a total of 8 1/2 hours. I started to get sick. I am recovering now.

The future and beyond

2011-01-01T16:41:00.003-05:00

I thought about writing either a year in review thing like i did last year, or do a 2011 new years resolution thing. But I'm not. Whilst it was most definitely not the best Christmas I've ever had, having to put my most adorable blind ninja cat to sleep, spending Christmas eve at the hospital in Guelph after Rebecca's dad came close to kidney failure, and then spending Christmas and Boxing day puking my guts out and shitting my pants, it gave me sometime to think introspectively about several things, and also to watch a lot of films.

One thing that's been on my mind since I saw Kick Ass was Toronto's representation on the big screen, or really the lack there of. I don't know if I'm the only person that gets horribly distracted by seeing Toronto pose as numerous other cities, but sometimes, it takes away from the viewing experience.

In Kick Ass, watching Red Mist and Kick Ass drive repeatedly by Dundas square, over and over and over, in more than one scene, was distracting. Seeing a giant King West sign presiding over the street, watching the kids leave the Scotia bank, all seemed to take me out of the film. Don't get me wrong, I still loved it, but at some point, enough should be enough.

The Horsemen, which supposedly took place in Detroit, had Denis Quaid passing by buildings labelled with Rogers, and down Queen Street and past the Eaton centre. One of the most worst culprits was The Tuxedo, which was a terrible movie, made worse by the fact that a chase had Jackie Chan racing down an alley at Yonge and Wellesley and emerging on the other side of town. Not that its Toronto, but in Mission Impossible 3, Tom Cruise shoots down the building in Pudong, and lands on the other side of the Huangpu river. In the Karate Kids remake, Jackie Chan and Jaden Pinkett Smith take a day trip from Beijing to the mountains in the south, something that would take a 24 hour train ride alone, since they don't exactly have the most efficient train system.

I guess my point is, movie magic can only get you so far. I'm sure the majority people wouldn't find this nearly as nagging as I did/do, but when you're supposed to be immersed in the cinematic experience, it doesn't help when you're pulled out of that experience due to some sloppy filmmaking. Because really, its sloppy.

Failure!

2010-11-23T21:12:00.002-05:00

Let's start with my failure to complete my October challenge.

Road Games - Jamie Lee Curtis and Stacy Keach star in this Aussie made tribute to Hitchcock, channeling Rear Window through the eyes of a ex-pat trucker in the outback, on the trail of a man in a green van that may or may not be killing female hitchhikers. This film was quite spectacular. Its smart, clever, and very well done. The cinematography was quite inventive at times, and Stacy Keach, well, he's charismatic and a marvel to watch. Which is great, because a lot of the film is him in the cab of a truck talking to his dingo (or himself).

The Horde - I was excited about watching this. It wasn't as great as I'd hoped it would be, it did lag at times, but it does feature some great combat sequences. This film will from now on be credited with adding a splash of hand to hand combat to zombie films. Yes, that's right, people throwing down with zombies. Its pretty awesome.

So, that's only 16 films out of 31. Failure! I may have actually watched more, but that was last month and my memory isn't that good. Which is a really good reason to write it more frequently.

And whilst I did fail at that, I have succeeded on one front. That of training. My schedule does not seem to mesh with that of Golden Harmony anymore , which is a shame, because honestly that is one of my favourite martial arts schools of all time, so while I bide my time until our schedules align, I have instead started to take some good, old fashioned Muay Thai kick boxing at TKMT. Its conveniently located a 15 minute walk south of me. My ultimate goal, to learn Muay Boran. Muay Thai on its own doesn't hold that much interest to me. The classes will, and are, getting me into fantastic shape, and it is sharpening my punching skills, but I have always found older forms more fascinating. You're physically learning a piece of history, channeling the old ways through physicality. I find that far more satisfying than just repeating the same cycle of punches and kicks. But so far, Muay Thai is kicking my ass. Granted, I am not in prime physical shape, but I don't think I've thrown that many punches in my life. The kicking I can handle, Tae Kwon Do trained me well, I can throw kicks till the cows come home, but hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of punches, well, that is pain. A pain I love and need.

Udlug Spleenripper

2010-10-26T20:46:00.002-04:00

I post this again, as I did on Facebook earlier, because this short documentary his been on my mind all day. I came home, described it to Rebecca, knowing full well that she would never be able to watch it without crumpling into a ball of tears, and I found myself crying in the process. That's the power of cinema ladies and gentleman.

Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.

Trick 'r Treat - For what ever reason, I completely missed watching this when it made that rounds, but thanks to Trevor I finally watched it, and was quite pleased. This Michael Dougherty fella knows how to make an entertaining horror film.

I'm really slacking on this watching a horror film a night thing. I'm trying my best, honestly. On the plus slide, I'm working more on Bluebird again as things are moving along again, I'm getting into some good shape, and I saw Reign of Assassins.

Reign of Assassins - Damn, I need to see this in theatres. It was pretty spectacular. Definitely one of the best martial arts films of 2010, along with Ip Man 2 and the Ip Man prequel. Its really well done, and some of the action is spectacular. A good old fashioned wuxia without any political flag waving.

Shaman of Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!

2010-10-21T21:48:00.002-04:00

I had every intention of going to see A Serbian Film at the Bloor tonite, but I am zonked. My body, aching from my recent re-start of the physically fit Matt program, and tired from lack of sleep and recovery, is telling me stay home, rest, and watch Reign of Assassins. So that's what I did. Here's what I was missing.

My body will thank me for it. And Reign of Assassins was amazing enough to warrant the change.

Pin - A grand fine piece of Canadiana with a very young David Hewlett, about a family and their relationship with Pin, a life sized, anatomically correct dummy the father keeps as a prop at his family practice. The father, a doctor and also a ventriloquist, uses Pin as a means of education and entertainment for the youngsters, using his ventriloquism skills to have an engaging conversation with the dummy. Of course the doctors children, particularly his son, develop a strange relationship with Pin. A strange relationship indeed. Also a strange but engaging film that I liked a lot.

Voodoo Island - A silly b-horror film from the 50's featuring the acting stylings of Boris Karloff, it features some really bad excuses for killer plants and a rather abrupt and anti-climatic end. But it on the plus side, it features some great dialogue and Boris Karloff!

The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake - Another 50's horror film, incidentally released by MGM as a double feature along with Voodoo Island, this film is the much better of the two. The story is far more interesting, the special effects are far better, and it has this guy with these weird catfish mouth barbs dangling over his lips and he walks around in silence, poisoning people with a long dart.

The Manson Family - This film took 10 years to make! And its great. Disturbing, and crazily psychedelic, this film is probably takes you as close as you can get to visualizing the state of mind the family must have been in during their time of love and then death. Its frickin' trippy, but oh so good.

Karla - This was interesting. It had the appearance and feel of a made for TV movie, and whilst the approach to the narrative was interesting, presenting Karla's view of events and then letting you know at the end she was probably lying the entire time, it doesn't really use that route to its advantage. Its a bland film. Not in the least bit offensive, but not really engaging either. It just sort of exists.

The Collector - From Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, the writers of Saw 4, 5, 6 and the upcoming 3-D incarnation, comes a film that's basically Saw but in a house with a man dressed as gimp instead of jigsaw. At heart the film has some interesting ideas, a decent story, and some solid cinematic execution, however the insistence on using gratuitous violence and even more gratuitous means of death in this film is taken to levels that are borderline loony tunes. There is physically no way in hell this guy was able to rig that house the way he did without Arkin ever realizing. I laughed. Which is sad, because it did excite me for the first 1/2 hour to 45 minutes, until it descended into mindless, pointless and ultimately meaningless and ineffective gore. Plus, Arkin's decisions get more ridiculous as the film progresses. If your suspension of disbelief level is so high that you think you can fly in real life, then you will probably enjoy this film. Otherwise, you'll get frustrated.

Thanksgiving!

2010-10-12T19:48:00.003-04:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I continued my quest of 31 horror films over the month of October. Not as easy as you think. I am 2 days behind

Ju-on (V-cinema) - Takashi Shimizu's original v-cinema sensation, this sort of breaks my rules as I had seen this, just not with subtitles. You can read a review I wrote for it here. I have a theory that some films are scarier when you are absorbed by the visuals and not so much the narrative. This happened with this film, which I found haunting the first time I watched it sans subtitles, although not so much this time. The same thing happened the second time I saw Ringu. The first time was in the middle of the, and the film had subtitles, and while it was still frickin' amazing and oozed dread, it was far more a frightening experience the second time I watched it, late one night on TV in Korea, with no subtitles to save me. Maybe its the fact that glancing down to subtitles breaks the ever building sense of despair these films exude. I don't know. All I know is, it was scarier when I wasn't wrapped up in the narrative.

Ju-on: Shiroi Roujo - This year marked the 10th anniversary of the release of the original v-cinema Ju-on (see above) and so Takashi Shimizu 'oversaw' the production of two sequels, Ju-on: Shiroi Roujo aka Ju-on: White Ghost and Kuroi Shoujo aka Black Ghost. White Ghost definitely had its moments. I won't go into too much detail as I will be reviewing it shortly at the J-Film Pow-Wow, but needless to say, what it lacked in SFX and scary ghosts, it made up for with tension and a few creepy moments.

A Nightmare on Elm Street - This is another terrible remake by Platinum Dunes, and by the most pretentious music video director on earth, Samuel Bayer. I have issues with this man and his anal retentive Kodak film ads. Moving on, the film lacked any kind of tension, or character development. Its just a series of quick scares that have no build at all, and that are always combined with a loud boom of bass and loud noise, to let you know what just happened was suppose to be frightening. This is a piece of shit, the Paul Haggis version of a horror film.

30 Days of Night: Dark Days - I loved 30 Days of Night, and I love Ben Templesmith's art. This film obviously lacks the budget the first one has, and because of that it suffers. Its not a bad film, its actually fairly well executed. The problem is that the vampires, who are suppose to be feral and animalistic, don't look nearly as good as they should, like in the original. It also comes off sort of daft, because there are only a handful of vampires in the film. They send 30 or so to butcher Barrow in the first film, but here the queen Lilith only has 6 of them on her giant freighter? A bit silly.

Frozen - Adam Green is really becoming a force to be reckoned with. I loved this film. Very tense, and it had moments that made me cringe. Its also refreshing to see a film like this, that is simple in concept, and based around some great performances by the actors. And some of the camera work is pretty amazing. Adam Green's got some balls to make a film like this.

Grindbox

2010-10-04T20:46:00.003-04:00

Some wonderful things happened. First, it was Nuit Blanche. Yes, it felt more like a street party for University kids towards the end of the night, but I experienced a few wonderful things:

1) Grindbox: Colin Geddes picked a wonderful bunch of trailers and other junk. Some I had seen and some I had never heard of. But one touched my heart. Orca!

I have fond memories of watching this film on TV as a wee lad in England whilst slumbering at my cousin Andrews.

2) Alice Guy-Blache - The first female director in the motion picture industry, and one of the first narrative fiction film directors ever, the short films playing in cinema 3 circa 1906-1907. Tableau in style, they proved one thing: dogs and sausages are still funny 100 years later. Wow, its crazy to think those films were 104 years old. They have a documentary about her at the NFB Mediatheque.

3) Polly - Voyeuristic, somewhat uncomfortable, beautiful and upsetting, I Cried For You, a video installation utilizing performance art in the form of crying, Polly was the only person I saw that actually cried. Sure most after there allotted 10 minutes shed a tear, but after 5 minutes, she was sobbing. It was a wonderfully strange experience for me as a viewer, and I'm sure for her as the performer. It moved many people watching, some who found it incredibly sad and disturbing. Which is strange, that despite the 'desensitization' of a culture, something as simple as a person crying, someone we don't know and have no connection too, can still evoke such a reaction. On the bad side, the cast of Jersey Shore seemed to be in the area, and during every performance, some drunk person stopped to perform performance art of their own on the massive TV screen, usually in the form of picking a gigantic nose.

4) Drum Party - There was a drum party at the AGO. The atmosphere was terrific. Moments like that make events like Nuit Blanche worthwhile. Yes, there were drunks later on in the evening, but having a communal environment like that with such a hive-mind kind of attitude is something all communities need.

I'm also trying to succeed in watching 31 horror movies over the course of October, one per day. I have a few rules. The first, which is making this difficult, is watching a film I haven't seen or don't remember seeing. The second, is that I can watch more than one in a day, so long as my count is 31 at the end of the month. So far, so good.

Rob Zombies Halloween 2 - This film reminded me a lot of House of 1000 Corpses, where its really just a mishmash of ideas with no real coherent narrative. Sure Zombie has some good ideas, and on occasion he achieves some semblance of cinematic marvel, but mostly its just a mess. Its trying to hard to be edgy and extreme, and instead, its pretty bad. Two rules he should learn. One is to stop casting his wife because she is an awful actor. The second he should stop with the cheeseball musical montages.

Don't Kill a Duckling - One of Fulci's first horror films from 1972, this is by far one of my favourites, with Zombie, City of the Living Dead and New York Ripper. Less atmospheric than The Beyond but far more coherent, its slightly disturbing because of the content, not just the bloody mayhem, which is restrained here compared to his later films.

Big Bad Wolf - Trevor bought me this in retaliation for getting him Happy Birthday to Me for his birthday. It was a bad film yes, but still surprisingly entertaining, mostly because it had a trashtalking werewolf and a good level of gore. Oh, and Clint Howard and David Naughton have cameos.

Game Over

2010-09-29T16:21:00.008-04:00

Alpenbitter. The official drink of Game Over: Pat Orams official 2010 Bachelor Party Extravaganza.

Made in beautiful Grimbsy, Ontario, this flavourful 'digestive', or 'digestif' as I'm told by Nick, is an ancient blend of 11 alpine botanicals and herbs, made from an ancient Celtic Druid recipe. Which means it tastes like Jagermeister mixed with mouthwash.

Several hours of Talisman followed.

TIFF 2010

I attended some films at TIFF.

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen - Not a very good film. I have since watched The Legend Begins: Ip Man, and that film is 100 times better than Donnie Yen and Andrew Lau's cheap Bruce Lee/Jet Li imitation.

13 Assassins - Read my review of it here. I thought it was absolutely spectacular.

Red Nights - This was sort of like an old HK Cat III films made as a Giallo. The two french guys who made it also wrote Running Out of Time, so they have obvious Johnnie To cinematic tendancies. Regardless of the fact that Seppuku Paradigm did the soundtrack and Sebastien Prangere edited the film, it still looks and feels like a Milkyway Production. Regardless, very atmospheric and entertaining.

I Saw the Devil - Wow. I love Choi Min Sik and Lee Byung Hyun more as time goes by. This film doesn't have the emotional depth of my favourite Kim Jee Woon film, A Bittersweet Life, but its pretty visceral and intense, and between the two leads and some outstanding cinematography, you don't need another reason to watch this film. Unless you want to see the best achilles tendon mutilation since Pet Cemetery.

Detective Dee and the Phantom Flame - Tsui Hark seems to have forgotten how to make entertaining and coherent films with emotion and depth. The last film he made that really struck me was Time and Tide. That was 10 years ago! Andy Lau cannot save this film from its trite shortcomings. It feels one of those wuxia TV productions that are edited down from 25 hours to a 2 hour film for a DVD release here. I know Tsui Hark is embracing the digital era and using high definition cameras and CGI, but some of this film looked like shit. I want to be excited about his remake of Dragon Gate Inn, but this film doesn't generate any kind of confidence.

The Butcher, The Chef and The Swordman - This film was a good followup to Detective Dee because it was a Chinese period film made like Ashes of Time or The Blade, so it was sort of refreshing. Some of it was very funny and original, some of it not so much. And it really wasted the talents of Xiong Xin Xin, who was the films fight choreographer, although you'd hardly know anyone choreographed anything.

Bunraku - This film had a lot of imagination and a visual style that at times makes your jaw drop. Unfortunately, its marred by some of the worst voice over since 300. I give props to Josh Hartnett for his mad boxing skills, and the Oldboy inspired tracking shot of Hartnett going floor to floor knocking out bad guys was pretty cool. One question: why was Demi Moore in this film?

Cold Fish - Visceral doesn't even being to describe Sion Sono's follow up to Love Exposure, and the first film from Sushi Typhoon which is actually outstanding in all respects. This is more Sono ala Strange Circus, with a Edogawa Rampo inspired fusion of sex and violence that is rarely seen this side of the seventies. I had no idea that was Asuka Kurosawa until the credits rolled.

Legend of my Fist

2010-09-07T20:14:00.006-04:00

Two months since I last posted. A new record. In this span of time:

Confessions of a Dog - A shot and edited an interview with director Gen Takahashi, as well as the Q and A after the film and a panel discussion, all led by the wonderful Chris Magee, and all of which will appear on the British DVD release of the film by Third Window films. And its also an amazing film.

Bluebird - Shooting, shooting, shooting. Its only been 16 months since we started shooting, so thats not too bad. Ha ha ha. Its morphed into something that is so incredibly different from what I originally envisioned, but at the same time, its still the same fame. Wierd. Cliche to say this, but its become its own organic, living creature. I am helping to guide its evolution, shaping it, morphing it, but its growing in ways I couldn't have possible imagined. And at the sametime, things I thought would have developed naturally have died horribly or have never even seen the light of day.

TIFF - Yes, the worlds greatest film festival starts this week. Which means work gets stupid busy as everyone wants to shoot Brad Pitt wiping his ass, but also, it means lots of wonderful movies. So what am I excited for? More than anything, Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen, followed closely by I Saw the Devil and 13 Assassins.

I'm sure more things have happened this summer, but, I can't remember. Oh, my lungs hurt. Oh, and I have a handle bar moustache. But mostly, right now, my lungs hurt. Which isn't really possible, as they have no nerves, but I can still feel it. My workout routine is thrown off. Just when I'd gotten into running through Sherwood Park and visiting Tony Orton on a regular basis, as well as doing my own martial arts thing. I need to start going back to kung fu class.

Three dinner birthday

2010-07-14T18:55:00.003-04:00

July 9th marked my day of birth. I took several days off of work to collect my thoughts, assess my life, spend many days deep in meditation, focusing, refocusing, and focusing some more.
I did manage to accomplish several things over the last few days.

3 Birthday Dinners

Friday, on my actual birthday, myself and some friends went to Chimichanga's for mojitos and burritos, and it was delicious. I ate until I could eat no more, and then I ate a little more. Plus, mojitos are delicious. The perfect follow-up to that meal was Predators, which was one fantastic film. It didn't have the same level of hormone bursting masculinity the original did, but Adrian Brody did a pretty good job. Sunday my parents came for what would have been lunch, but since we were out the night before drinking and taking 1am walks through various forests, it was breakfast. Birthday breakfast was an Indian buffet at Chef of India. Spectacular times in my tummy, and again I ate until I burst. Plus, my parents stayed to watch the world cup and my mom brought this:

Yes, that's a cake. Crazy isn't it. That's me! So I ate that all afternoon, and the next day. Tuesday my sister came for dinner. We went to Finn Izakaya, because I needed to gorge myself on Japanese food. So I got the special Finn three story Bento Box. I don't know what some of the food I had was, but it all tasted delicious. Then we went to Demetries for dessert. I had some brownie cheesecake with crazy triple chocolate ice cream. Again, I ate more than I should, and it felt soooooooo good.

But, on a more constructive note, I've organized my life a little. Started my super duper work work out routine to keep me busy until I can afford the time and money to train again. Until then, P90X and my own personal kung fu training will do.

We also got air conditioning, which is awesome.

Happy G20!

2010-06-30T20:48:00.005-04:00

A lots been said about our wonderful G20 weekend. I spent Saturday and Sunday downtown, shooting B-roll for Bluebird. It was a great opportunity for me to capture images of a city under siege, which is sad, but at the sametime, strangely karmic. The film was blessed by a tibetan woman after all. True story. But I digress. I saw some crazy stuff. My thoughts. Everyone failed. Well, not everyone. There were actually peaceful protestors who just wanted to be heard. However, they had trouble makers in their midst that caused some shit and provoked the police. Then the police went crazy. Good times. Either way, the blame falls on the people who decided to throw this shit storm together.

Also, Saturday night, history was made when Fedor lost for this first time. Ever. It was bound to happen. And granted he's really fought no one of real talent for years, he's probably gotten soft. He hasn't been challenged for a long time. And then bam, he falls into a triangle/arm bar twist combo move.

The weekend before I got really sick. I puked my guts out. Literally. For 7 hours. I hadn't been sick like that since we were in China and I got sick after eating sewage. I vomited until there was nothing but bile coming up. And then I puked some more. It felt like my body was trying to expel some demon from my stomach. It went on for hours. I couldn't hold down water for a good deal of the day. But eventually it ended. Obviously, getting sick like that from I have no idea what set off some warning lights. I needed to purge. And purge I have. I haven't had any caffeine since that vomitous day. I've been eating some what better, cleansing my inner workings. Its been tough. I've been going to bed a lot earlier, but feel generally better and seem to have more clarity. Today I worked out, and I felt like I had more energy than I had in a long time. Strange. And not so strange. Perhaps Operation Ivy was right. Healthy body, safe mind.

The Horseman - This Australian flick kicks some ass. From it's description, I was really expecting just another bloody revenge tale, but this film rises above that leaps and bounds. Peter Marshall is astounding as Christian, and his performance is mesmerizing. It also really humanizes him with the introduction of Alice, the young girl who follows him on his bloody rampage, although unbeknowest to her. It reminded me alot of Izo. Christian by the end of the film loses all of his humanity and turns into a rage filled devil, who no amount of punishment can stop. The stunts are spectacular. I loved this film.

The Iceman Cometh (and goeth)

2010-06-15T21:03:00.003-04:00

UFC 115 has come and gone in Vancouver. My thoughts:

1) Chuck Liddell looked great. He didn't have a beer gut for the first time in recent memory. And he was fairing very well. Until he got hit. Once. And dropped. He's head can't take a good punch to the noggin anymore. Which is too bad. Not that I'm a huge Liddell fan, because I ain't, but I like Rich Franklin even less, so I was really hoping he would loose. Oh well.

2) Cro Cop won! Yeah! To a Sanshou fighter with no ground skills! To a guy who knocked him on his ass not once, but twice, and just stood there and let him get up. I do like Cro Cop, I love a good head kick, but if Pat Barry actually knew MMA and not just Sanshou, he would have plowed right through Cro Cop in the first round. It was a feeder fight, and fed Cro Cop Dana White did.

3) It was obvious during the pre-lim fights they show live on Spike for free, that they are cutting the fights to show as little contact and violence as they can. I know its a business, and Dana White is trying to make it more legitamized, but there were times when the camera had a perfect view of the action, and then it would cut to angle that made it more difficult to discern what was going on. I didn't dig it.

Blood and Bone - Black Dynamite converted me into a Michael Jai White fan. Sure I'd seen him in a Universal Soldier: The Return, The Dark Knight, Spawn, and the deleted scene from Kill Bill 2, but I was never fully convinced of his martial arts skills nor his on screen prescence and charisma. Until Black Dynamite. Now I can't get enough. Blood and Bone is a low budget film, but the guy who wrote the Big Hit (which I LOVE) and Love and a Bullet, which he directed, starring Treach (BAD!!!), and without MJW, it would probably have been a terrible film. Sure its got Kimbo Slice, Gina Carrano and Bob Sapp, but MJW kicks some serious ass in this film. They change camera formats throughout (you can see this pretty clearly in the making of), and it shows. Some of it looks like shit. Sometimes, when there's lots of horizontal movement in the frame, the image strobes. Some of the acting is awful. But fuck, Michael Jai White is incredible. I will buy this film solely for the guys martial arts mayhem. The end fight is pretty amazing.

The 13th Floor

2010-05-24T20:59:00.004-04:00

If a building has more than 13 floors, but skips 13 when assigning floor levels, you're still living on the 13th floor of the building. You're fooling yourself if you think you're going to live.

I spent yesterday evening shooting time-lapse off the roof of a parking garage downtown. A mighty fun time. I spent many an evening in my younger years atop parking garages in downtown Toronto, so it was very nostalgic.

I got a Drobo. Now Bluebird will be safe forever. And ever. And ever. Thanks Craig.

Robin Hood - I expected something on par with Costner's Prince of Thieves, and that's what I got. I also got the feeling that much like Kingdom of Heaven there will be a directors cut with an hour of restored footage. I am left with the burning question: how did Marion manage to take control of the unruly feral forest children and lead them into battle. Ahead of everyone else I might add!

Sinew

2010-04-29T20:37:00.004-04:00

I can feel my sinew grow strong. Strands of metal coat the very fiber that is my musculature. I can punch through walls.

I haven't gotten lazy. My regime has not been broken. I can feel the energy surging through my veins. Its pretty amazing how a little (or maybe not so little) exercise can change how your body feels in such a short period of time. It remembers. Its slowly remembering. I can feel the muscles and ligaments stretching, slowing sliding back into a place they once resided in so many years ago.

The light is also at the end of the tunnel. It grows every brighter with each passing day. Once I emerge into the light, I'll find myself in an even bigger tunnel that won't be nearly as long, but will take just as much energy and perseverance as the last. Focus. Focus. Breath. And focus.

Words of Advice

2010-04-13T18:35:00.002-04:00

Turn verbal diarrhea into alphabetized diarrhea. Everyday. Easier said than done. Which is why I'm doing it. To prove a point. Mostly to myself. And who better to make a point too. As long as things keep moving forward each and everyday, no matter how small and minuscule, as long as the movement is always in that forwardly direction and not in reverse, then that's all you can really do. And that's all I'm doing. Forward motion. In written verse. And cinematic image. Fused into one montage induced seizure. Maybe seizure's the wrong word. Maybe the right word is brain fuck. But maybe curse words are too strong. Let's try montage induced delirium. That's probably what I'm going for.

Tomorrow commences my return to The Drifting Classroom, Kazuo Umezu's mammoth masterpiece, so that I may partake of Nobuhiko Obayashi's cinematic incarnation, in hopes that its not as bad as I've been told. Perhaps with Umezu's words and images still fresh in my mind, it will all make sense. Although Orochi really didn't cut the mustard. I probably would have enjoyed the film more had I not read Umezu's manga.

I've also coined some phrases as of late. The latest is What Would Riki Takeuchi Do, or WWRTD. Remember you read it here first.

The Chair

2010-03-24T20:54:00.007-04:00

I have kept up with the training routine. Right now just three times a week, but I can already feel the kung fu power flowing through my veins. At least a little bit. Tonight my legs are sore. P90X plyometrics. It puts the 'X' in P90X.

I, along with Bob and Marc from the Toronto J Film Pow-Wow has some reviews published in the Directory of World Cinema: Japan. One lifetime goal completed. I have a little black book that houses my personal goals. Some annual. Some lifetime. They range from the obvious, having a review published in a book, to watching all the films in the Zatoichi series. Also on that list, making a feature film. That will be completed this year also. Next will possibly be the creation of a small child.

A Single Man - Not that I'm the biggest Oscar fan in the world, but man, this film should have been nominated for way more stuff. Granted its now 2010, but this has jumped on my favourite films from 2009 list. Everything about it was mesmerizing. I want to see it again. Soon. It reminded me a lot of Wong Kar-wai during the Christopher Doyle years. On a side note, we had some really good Gelato from some Gelato place down the street from the Mt. Pleasant theatre. I should go for strolls down yonder more often.

Bad Blood - This film, I liked. Yes, the plot is inane. Dennis Law seems to be getting lazier with his martial arts gangster films. It seemed he took story elements of Fatal Contact, which I really really enjoyed, and fused them with the gangster genre from Fatal Move, and then combined them into one film. Luckily, some of the fights are pretty spectacular, Jiang Liu-Xia blew my frickin' mind, and any can't get enough of watching Xiong Xin-Xin in action. That guys moves in such insane hypnotic circular movements its hard to imagine sometimes that he's human. But yes, Jiang Liu-Xia. I have yet to see Coweb, but I'm sold on her. That makes the film sound even more amazing. Xiong Xin-Xin, Jiang Liu-Xia AND Kane Kosugi. I must see more of her. And that film.

Ouch

2010-03-01T20:12:00.002-05:00

Saturday morning. Rebecca warned me I was running late, that I wouldn't make it to the van in time to move it before the ticket police arrived. You can only park for 2 hours at a time after 8am. It was 10:30am. As I stepped out the apartment door, seeing the ticket car several hundred meters up the street, I realized she was right. But there was hope! The ticket man was still a good 50 meters or so away from the van. If I ran, I could probably make it!

So I ran, full tilt. Now, it probably wasn't more than 500 meters, which isn't a lot, even if you are running as fast as you frickin' can. But as I closed in on the van, my legs started to slow down and my breathing became more laboured. Soon my chest was burning and I could feel my air passage swelling as my asthma was kicking in. But I pressed on. And not with a moment to spare.

I charged charged the car door and climbed in, just as the cop passed by. I made it. No ticket. However, I almost collapsed in the drivers seat, and spent the next 10 minutes trying to catch my breathe. My body was sapped of all energy. I ran for maybe a minute and I was spent. I realized then, I was terribly and awfully out of shape.

So today, I started to get back into shape. Although honestly, I always keep on starting, and then have trouble keeping it up. I really stink at motivating myself. When I'm in practice I'm fine. I need someone beside me, yelling at me to push harder, and I will. But on my own, I have trouble starting the engine. Hopefully this time things will change. Hope hope.

Accident

I watched Soi Cheang's latest and was blown away. I really liked Dog Bite Dog, but did find it a tad melodramatic. Shamo I wasn't a big fan of. But Accident hit all the right notes. He did't use an aggressive camera style to engage you, instead he used stasis to let Louis Koo give any amazing and subtle performance in a very 60's style film. It was pretty breathtaking. Reminded me a lot of The Conversation.

Bodyguards and Assassins

This film really didn't impress and I really wanted it too. Yes, the production design was breathtaking, and cinematically some of it was amazing, but damn, it's classic HK melodrama at its best and worst. Basketball giant Mengke Bateer is completely miscast as an outcast monk, who uses his basketball skills to render assailants useless with his throwing of vegetables. The Donnie Yen vs Cung Le battle started out great with a stunning foot chase, but the fight falls short. I was expecting a lot more. Now yes, I understand it was made during the 50th anniversary of the Peoples Republic of China, and it really plays on that aspect far too much, making much of the melodrama almost cringe worthy.

One month in

2010-02-06T18:48:00.002-05:00

It's one month in to this joyous new decade, and this is only the second time I've graced my blog with words. Meaningless words. I'm becoming more and more fascinated by the fusion of sound and image, and less fascinated by classical Hollywood narrative. I need to become independently wealthy.

The Ascent

Borrowed this from Marc, and it blew me away. Incredibly bleak, not only in its narrative, but also the cinematography and the sound-scape. My god, I thought Come and See was the be all and end all of WW2 films but I was wrong. Larisa Shepitko, who made The Ascent, was married to Elem Klimov, who made Come and See, and there are definitely parallels between the two films, but whereas Come and See relies more on affecting the viewer by depicting atrocities and using disturbing imagery to ensure you're horrified by what you came to see, The Ascent relies purely on its cinematic audacity, the bleakness of the landscape and the protrayals by the actors to drive its message home. Blew me away.

And so it ends....and begins again

2010-01-02T00:05:00.006-05:00

The year and the decade have ended. And now like a seemingly endless cycle of days come and gone, we start again. I finished off the decade with a lot of films. Here are the rest of my thoughts.

Taking of Pelham 123 - Not as bad as I'd anticipated. John Travolta is no Robert Shaw, nor does he try to be. He was tolerable, but unfortunately Tony Scott's direction is not. He has no idea how to use the camera other than to 'make it go fast now'. Ridley does a far better job of restraining himself so as to convey an idea or story.

Punisher: Warzone - Well, it wasn't as bad as the the previous film, also with John Travolta. However Thomas Jane played a far better Punisher. The action is over the top here, and the lighting colour palette does lend itself to a comic book feel, but the film is filled with so much hammy acting, bad dialogue and outrageously awful set pieces that it just doesn't cut it. No matter how much blood the Punisher spills. It did have Wayne Knight in it though, and he's always fun. On the plus side, it is a so bad its funny kind of film, so I did enjoy the time I spent watching it, although probably not the way I was intended too.

Franklyn - Good idea, terrible execution. Incredibly contrived. Four seemingly separate stories collide at the end in such a trite way, it really wasn't worth the time spent getting there. Eva Green is in it though, and is hot. And Sam Riley is good. But everything else is bleh. Surprised that this played at After Dark. Are they really that desperate for films, or do they just not watch them?

Rocknrolla - After the abysmal Revolver, Guy Richie goes back home and makes a restrained (read that Tony Scott, restraint, you should learn this) gangster film that is quite excellent. He tried to reinvent himself with Swept Away and Revolver and failed. Here he succeeds in spades. Sure on the surface it looks like a typical Guy Richie gangster film, but the visual orgasms that usually explode across the screen aren't nearly as explosive. Instead, he takes the time to develop character and story and all the other good stuff that's associated with cinema. And Tom Wilkinson steals the show. Very fun and very funny.

The Hang Over - This film was crazy hyped up before I watched it, but it did manage to live up to most of the hype. It made me laugh, which is what it was meant to do. Not the funniest film I've ever seen, but definitely the funniest I've seen in a while.

Angels and Demons - All I'll say is, it's better than The Da Vinci Code. They filled it with a lot of bang and zip, in hopes of covering up some of the films silliness, and for the most part they succeed. But some of it I couldn't get past. One man managed to drive around in a truck full of restrained men, and set up elaborate death rituals in a matter of minutes, all in the hopes that someone would follow the trail? What if they never got the 'Symbologist'? Then no one would have been able to follow the clues, and everything would have been for naught. It was far to complex for its own good. Doesn't make much sense. But, it did have some good deaths and Ewen MacGregor and mullet Hanks.

Avatar - On a visually creative scale, its the most amazing thing you'll see. The world they created is incredible. He beat George Lucas at his own game. However, it seemed like 99% of his creative energy went into creating the world and the technology, and only 1% went into writing the script. There were a lot of 'wow' moments, followed by a lot of 'really, that's all you can come up with for $300 million' moments. If he'd spent more time developing the script, and the characters, having them less cookie cutter one dimensional archetypes that he's used in every film he's made, and creating believeable, realistic and less cliche dialogue, this could have been one of the best films ever. However, it was not. But still damn good. However, if the film wasn't in 3-D, it probably wouldn't have been very good.

Speedracer - I quite enjoyed the film a lot. Maybe its the anime fanboy in me, but nothing has captured the look and film of anime quite like this. Everything I've ever said bad about the Wachowski's I take back. They have imagination to burn. I think they just needed someone to reign them in and tell them that dance sequences narrated by Laurence Fishbourne aren't cool. But race cars and films with Hiroyuki Sanada are!

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan - I've been trying to watch all the original Star Treks, and this is one of the best, like everyone usually says. It captured everything about the original show that was great, plus it actually tied it into the show, giving it big bonus points. And its probably the darkest in tone. Its the Empire Strikes Back for the Star Trek world. And that is Ricardo Montalban's chest!

Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock - I'll give it to Harve Bennet and Leonard Nimoy. They took a simple idea and turned it into a great film. Christopher Lloyd wrote the book on Klingons. I didn't really remember much about this film, but what I really liked about it is how all the films seem to tie together.

Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home - When I was in grade 5 I saw this film in theatres, and it killed Star Trek for me. I'd never really seen any of the films in their entirety, but seeing this, when I was expecting space battles and alien intruders and all I got were whales, really turned me off of Kirk and Spock. Watching it again, its pretty damn good. It doesn't compare with 2 and 3, but it does manage to be funny, touching and poignant. And sadly, still relevant. Plus, the fact that there is no antagonist or villain in the film and no real on screen violence makes it a marvelous feat for a science fiction film. But one question still lingers: Where there whales piloting that large cylindrical ship, and if so, did they come from a planet of whales?

BLU-RAY!

2009-12-24T13:48:00.006-05:00

I'm only watching films on Blu-ray this holiday season. Equipped with a blu-ray player, 60" LCD TV and a surround sound system at my parents, I have made a fort in the basement, and from their continued my film consumption.

Public Enemies - I'd seen this in the theatres. It's typical Michael Mann. The musical score sounds like he pulled it straight out of Last of the Mohicans. There's some intense gunfights. And for the most part it looks pretty. It was shot in several different formats, all Sony cameras, ranging from the F35 all the way down to the EX3. And while using the little EX3's allows him to do things with the camera he couldn't otherwise do, and it lends a sense of immediacy to some scenes, and it allows him to shoot in some really low light situations, the shift can be jarring. Its not so bad on Blu-ray. It was alot worse in theatres when the image was blown up. Now only a few shots look grainy as shit. All in all a pretty good film, even if it gets really cliche in parts. Not Mann's best, but not his worst.

Star Trek vs Star Trek - In the past two weeks I've finally seen both Star Trek films. I watched JJ Abrams crowd pleasing romp first, and then a few days ago watched the original motion picture, something I'd only seen in short bursts up until now. My thoughts? The only Star Trek I really got into was Next Generation. I was never a big Trekkie. Jonathan Frakes made terrible films. But the one thins I liked was that Star Trek was more straight up sci-fi as opposed to Star Wars, which was all about high adventure and massive battles. Star Trek was more concerned with deeper philosophical arguements, and by the time Next Generation hit, authenticity about how things in the Star Trek universe would work. The original film, with all its carbon units, was pretty damn great. Sure the special effects don't stand up, but everything else was everything I expected and more. It had deeper philosophical meaning behind it, and allowed itself to take its time. It didn't try to wow you with its visuals, although some of the more psychadelic 2001-esque visuals are still breathtaking. Abrams on the other hand wanted to get bums in seats, and make a films that was somewhere between the original motion picture and Star Wars. It is entertaining, but nothing more. It doesn't make you think. I don't think I'll ever watch it again. But then again, I ain't an Abrams fan. So if they are to do battle in deep space, I will but my money on Shatner.

Terminator Salvation - The Terminator series should have ended after T2. T3 sucked balls. And this new incarnation, while action packed, is a vapid mess. I love me some giant robots. And that was almost enough to cover up the massive plot holes, but once the film was over, I found myself asking numerous questions. Why is the resistance comprised of 3 men that live in a submarine? How did Marcus survive a massive blast at the beginning of the film unscathed? (Yes, he could have survived, but he would have been sans skin.) If it was so easy for the chopper to enter Skynet to get John Connor out, why did they never mount an assault, because there was absolutely no defenses. If John Connor exists, wouldn't he know that he is successful in sending back Kyle Reese (Adam at work pointed that out before I saw the film). Is it possible to do a heart transplant in the middle of the desert with very little technological resources? They do very little to sort out all the time travel convolution. In fact, they do very little to move the story along, save some big explosions. It is a colossal mess. Which is sad, because I put my money on this over Abrams Star Trek, and I lost. At least he had the brains to use timetravel wisely.

Watch this. Funniest KO ever!

Holidays ho!

2009-12-21T14:36:00.015-05:00

My 2 weeks of fun and relaxation have begun. Which means my immersive experience in film is about to take another leap forward. But will it bring?

Vengeance - I'd heard mixed films about the film, but it's Johnnie To, and when does he make a bad gangster film? Well, apparently never. I absolutely loved it. His attempt to seek both the usual Johnnie To fans and a broader international audience may not have the end result they were seeking, but his take on vengeance is pretty stunning. Its almost a companion piece to Exiled, using Macao as a backdrop, playing out almost like a western, and having some of the same Johnnie To stock of actors playing almost the exact same roles. The shootouts are breathtaking. The script is surprisingly refreshing. Honour amoung hitmen, an aging gangster who's losing his memory due to a bullet lodged in his skull. Its almost like a heroic bloodshed film, without the melodrama. And no one creates gun splatter like Johnnie To.

Le Tueur - It's almost like a planned this, but I didn't. Going from an almost classic re-imagning on the hired gun film with Vengeance to the genre-bending anti-hired gun film Le Tueur was pure syncronicity. Cedric Angers feature length debut is the opposite of everything a film like this should be. Its quiet, its intimate and its in no hurry to get where its going. Kopas arrives in Paris with one thing on his mind. To kill a man named Leo. Then the games begin. A cat and mouse game that isn't really a cat and mouse game. A car chase that isn't really a car chase. Leo knows someone is after him, and his paranoia grows, until he does the unthinkable. He confronts his killer, and not only does he talk to him, but he embraces him. And its this embrace that helps break down the walls of the cold, distant killer Kopas, bringing life to his otherwise miserable existance. This is a film about a hitman like no other, because its really not a film about a hitman at all.

In the Line of Duty 4 - After the disappointing Cung Le fight Saturday night via Strikeforce, I needed to prepare myself for his upcoming appearance in Bodyguards and Assassins. To do this, a searched through the Donnie Yen archives and pulled out one of my favourites, In the Line of Duty 4. More of a Cynthia Khan vehicle than a Donnie Yen film, it still manages to showcase both actors stellar martial arts talents. Plus, it has Donnie Yen's buddy John Salvitti who helped him with the MMA action in Flashpoint, as well as another Yen regular Michael Woods. Plus, its directed by Yuen Woo-ping, so its most definetly filled with some amazing stunt work and fight choreography. It's obvious that during this time Yen was coming into his own, and assembling his crack team of fighters that he would use to great effect in his more recent efforts. All I have to say is, whatever happened to Cynthia Khan, because man that girl could kick some ass!

R3D!

2009-12-14T16:50:00.002-05:00

It's scary carrying around your days footage on a small compact flashcard the size of a toonie. It's scary carrying a hard drive with all your days footage, praying nothing happens until you return home and back it up on several sources. It's even scarier when your footage doesn't play back, and you can't figure out why. But a general sense of relief is felt when you finally solve the problem 12 hours later.

David Bordwell makes me smile.

Tired

2009-12-08T21:26:00.002-05:00

Tired. I'm so very tired. I just want to sleep, to curl up in a ball on the cool hard ground and dream of chocolate and baseball and cute fuzzy animals that talk to me and tell me wonderful stories. But I can't. I'm so tired. All I can do is sit here and stare at the fucking wall. They won't let me sleep. No one will let me sleep. My eyes feel so sore. Sore and swollen.

I wish I could just sleep. I try. But they won't let me. They yell. They scream. They grab me and shake me and scream "Wake up you lazy fuck, this is no time to sleep. This is the time to act. Now get in there trooper and show us what you're made of." But I don't. I can't. I'm so tired. My body won't function. It needs sleep to function. Without sleep, I become useless. A useless robot. I can't function. But they won't let me sleep. They want me to act, they want me to show them what I'm made of.

But what if I'm made of shit, of garbage, or refuse. My brain is mush. My body is inanimate. It remains motionless. Its shutting down. First my feet, then my legs, then my chest and my arms and finally my head.

Not my head! As long as my head still functions, I can see, I can breathe, I can smell and hear and taste. And above all I can think. But without my head, I am nothing. A useless pile of matter. A waste of mitochondria, of cytoplasm, of nuclei. If I can shutdown separate parts of my body at different times, maybe then I can get a variation of sleep. Semi-sleep. Half-sleep. Instead of this anti-sleep. Why won't they let me sleep. My cells are shutting down, performing seppuku. They can't take it, so why should I? At least then they could be used for something worthy, like a cow or a pig.

Mate

2009-11-24T23:30:00.002-05:00

Your lips quiver as you bring the fork to your mouth. The food shakes, and the fork shakes, and your hand shakes. A tear runs down your pale cheek. I reach out my hand, a tissue held loosely between my fingers, but you shirk away, dropping the fork. You squirm, but your body is constricted, your legs tied to the chair.

'Take it', I tell you. 'Wipe off your face, you look ridiculous', but instead of taking it and thanking me, you spit on me, spit on my face. I slam my hands down on the table. My fingers wrap around its ends and shake it violently. You scream, but I scream louder, wilder, madder. I throw the table across the room, jumping to my feet.

'Fuck you bitch! You will respect me. You will love me. I'll make you love me.' You scream, but no one can hear you. Your incessant screaming starts to give me a headache, so I tape your mouth shut.

'How do you like that?' I ask. I drag you across the room by your hair, still leaving you tied to the chair. You moan, your cries muffled. I throw you in your box and close the lid. Maybe a few hours alone, in the dark, in the silence of your own existence will make you love me. And if not, maybe a little persuasion will be needed. But rest assure, by the end of the week, you will love me.

Halloween showdown

2009-11-02T18:58:00.011-05:00

Devils night was spent in a church, watching a heavy metal band play under a cross. It was beautiful. During my Halloween sojourn, I watched many, many films. I had planned to play plenty of Ju-on on the Wii, but since it isn't that good, that idea was and is dead in the water. He did attempt to shoot more timelapse of the stars, but alas the sky was overcast, so all we ended up doing was watching films. And a bit of K-1. Not a bad Halloween.

Paranormal Activity: Lots and lots of hype. My feeling is that if the previews didn't tell you this was the scariest movie ever made, then no one would have been scared. Yes, there were a few tense moments towards the end, but what tension it did create was ruined by a poor script and bad acting. Films need character development. Not a couple having the exact same arguement every 10 minutes, being intercut with them in bed. How many times did Katie tell Micah the camera was a bad idea, and how many times did he reply, "I'll take care of it" and march down the hall taunting the demon? Far, far too many times. Plus, they two biggest chills in the film were shown in the trailers. If Spielbergs cronies hadn't orgasmed all over this film, no one would have ever seen it. They tried desperately to make a cult phenomemon, to make the next Blair Witch, but I imagine in 10 years, no one will remember this film. The other thing that really pisses me off with this film is they try to convince everyone it was made for $15,000. Yes, originally it was. Until Dreamworks got a hold of it and then re-shot the ending and a few other small moments, re-mixed the audio and re-edited the film before finally releasing it.

The Haunting of Conneticut: Watching this film reminded me of watching Paranormal Activity. Some great chills and scary moments, and some good building of tension, again ruined by a terrible script. This time, an overly melodramatic and cliched script. I laughted during the 'searching for hope' montage in which Virgina Madsen lays in bed, clutching to her pillow, praying, and her husband is getting drunk, rocking out on his guitar, until he smashes the speaker and then his shelves. Where the hell did this rock guitar come from? And lest not forget the part when the dad listens to an audio tape made by the haunted cancer son Matthew. What teenage boy records an audio tape for his dad in which he tells him he loves him and what he's been up to. Were the creators of this film really that stupid? I guess so. And what the hell was up with the detective cousin, that really does nothing for most of the film, until she turns into Nancy Drew, accessing the cities archivies to unlock the mystery of the house! If a horror film is to be good, the film as a whole has to be good. It can't be a few good scares surrounded by crap, especially when it takes itself so damn seriously.

The Midnight Meat Train: Ryuhei Kitamura strikes again in his first Hollywood film. Adapted from Clive Barkers short story of the same name, it turns out to be quite an effective piece of bloody mayhem for Kitamura. He does wonders with the meager budget. Its visually inventive, like most of his films, and damn claustrophobic. It also features some wonderfully creative death sequences, something most horror films seem to be missing these days. Is the film perfect? No. Some of Leon's descent into obsession isn't really motivated, and sometimes the snazzy camera work that Kitamura is known for does border on self-gratification, but as a gory piece of meat, it works quite well. Kitamura shows he definetly has the chops to continue his work in North America.

The Devils Chair: This is the first Adam Mason film I've watched. After the first half hour, I was almost ready to turn it off. The voice over wasn't working for me. Most of it looked like crap. The motivation for Dr. Willard to take Nick West back to the place of his girlfriends death was weak at best. And some of the acting, my god...it was funny the first time Dr. Willard was referred to as Gandalf, but he didn't have to act like him at all times. The last hour of the film though did pick things up a fair bit. What starts out as predictable becomes a mindbending journey into the truth about the chair that sits in the old asylum. The creature SFX are pretty stunning, and the demonic creature that lurks within the chair is really well done, very Lovecraftian. So the film turned out not to be all bad. The voice over still never worked, no matter how unpredicatable the film was. It does get bloody, really, really bloody, but after it ended, I couldn't help but feeling like something was missing. It just didn't hit the mark. But I'll give Adam Mason and Simon Boyes props for attempting to make something very different and unique with incredibly limited means. I will watch Blood River and Broken now that they've got my attention.

Ju-on: The Grudge Haunted House Simulator

2009-10-26T18:55:00.006-05:00

I follow Takashi Shimizu with blind devotion. Lucky for me, I also have a Wii, so it seemed a perfect fit that Ju-On: The Grudge Haunted House Simulator was released on my favourite gaming system a scant few weeks ago. With Shimizu overseeing game development, it seemed to be made more in the mold of the Ju-on films, using short chapters, each following a different character, to develop the story. Except it turns out, there is no story. Just death.

The first time I played the game was under harsh circumstances. It was the middle of the day. Several friends were over, none of them really paying attention. They chattered and clucked like little roosters, creating much noise and distraction. The first thing that I immediately noticed is that the game is REALLY slow. You walk at a snails pace, regardless of how much freaky shit goes on, which is kind of funny in a sadistic kind of way. But it quickly became apparent the game isn't to be played when people are mocking it. Like watching any good horror film, you need the zeitgeist. A scary movie doesn't work when people talk and chatter and laugh, constantly breaking the tension and pulling you out of the experience. I knew then, to play Ju-On: The Grudge Haunted House Simulator, you need to play it late at night, with all the lights turned off, with one other person, two tops. Maybe on some mind altering substances. Completely focused in the experience the game creates.

Saturday night, stumbling home from the bar after the some what disappointing Machida vs Shogun fight, in which no one really won, including me the spectator, my French compatriot Nick and I decided to embark upon our first quest into Ju-On: The Grudge Haunted House Simulator .

The first time you play the game, it definitely does get scary at times, maybe even a little freaky. It does a great job of creating tension. It seems that each character you play dies at the end of each level, so its just a matter of time until Kayako pops her pale white head out from behind a corner and swallows your soul.

The bad part of the game comes when you have to play a level a second time, either because you died before you beat it, or just for kicks. All the scares come at the same moments, so nothing is surprising. All tension is lost. That wouldn't be all bad, except you move so frickin' slow, there is absolutely no enjoyment gained from playing a level over again. So basically, its great the first time, but then, a few hours later, it makes a great coaster, or an addition to your ever growing Ju-on collection. But nothing more. Or maybe background art at a party.

Thanksgiving Test

2009-10-11T20:39:00.003-04:00

This is a test. So far, I've spent Thanksgiving driving back and forth several times between Georgetown and Toronto, and watching some mediocre films.

Deadgirl: Good premise, ruined by terrible dialogue and trite character motivation, or really no motivation at all. Also didn't really push the envelope at all. I mean, if you're making a film about a zombie sex slave, you should really be trying to do something unconventional, not skirting around the sex and the gore. It would have been better had it been a short film, without that dog that really made no sense and served no purpose, that lived in an abandoned hospital that still for some reason still had electricity. But that's what you get from a guy who writes Troma films.

Gomorrah: Realistic yes, but really dragged 0n, and this docudrama style of filmmaking is really getting to me. Why can't people let the actors do the work, instead of the schizo ADD camera work that people seem to think makes a film appear more 'real'. Still, the film didn't really develop any kind of empathy for any of the characters. I didn't care who lived, who died and who quit there jobs by the end. I was just sort of glad it was over. Still, it was an interesting look at the world of the Naples mafia that I'm really not familiar with, so it was good on a sort of educational level. But as a film, not that great.

Many films with so much time

2009-09-07T19:59:00.005-04:00

For the first time in a very long time, I spent the weekend either at my computer undisturbed, doing work on the film, or watch films. Seven films to be exact, if you count each episode of The Company as one film, which you should because each one is 1 hour and a half long and is one cohesive story.

Ringu: Call me a j horror fanboy, but Ringu is still one of my favourites. It only took me 9 years to get Rebecca to watch it. Each time I watch it I get more and more out of it. Its a beautiful film, that unfortunately takes a lot of flack for helping to start the now redundant j horror boom.

The Company: A three part mini-series on the history of the CIA during the cold war. Its really a trilogy of three films more or less. I got interested in this film because one, Jason picked up as a blind buy and said it was good, and two, it was playing on the D-21 promo reel at work and looked pretty good. And it is. Chris O'Donnell for once isn't half bad. Micheal Keaton rocks. Its a nice blend of history surrounding a fictitious character, and really well done, besides a few not so well done SFX shots.

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion: Let's face it, Meiko Kaji is frickin' hot. I have yet to see a film with her in it I didn't like, and Female Prisoner #701 is no different. Omar wanted to watch a movie with nudity in it, so I put this on. Its amazing how the film should be nothing more than an exploitation film, but a combination of Kaji's smoldering looks and ice cold glares and Shunya Ito's often bold and psychedelic cinematic fury helps the film becomes something much more. Its a great piece of cinema.

The Kid with the Golden Arm: I've wanted to see this film for quite sometime. I love Chang Cheh. Its one of the first 'venoms' films, featuring what would become Cheh's group of filmmaking consorts after the iron triangle of David Chiang, Ti Lung and Chang Cheh. It's got all your favourites. Sun Chien, Lo Meng, Philip Kwok, Lu Feng, Chiang Sheng, Wei Pai and Yu Tai Ping. Its not the best Chang Cheh film, and doesn't match the outrageous audacity of Five Deadly Venoms, Crippled Avengers or Five Element Ninjas, but that final battle is pretty amazing. Its more a tale of intrigue, albeit not a very original or clever one, leading to a spectacular showdown between the Kid with the Golden Arm, Iron Feet and Hero Hai To!

Koyaanisqatsi: I very influential film for me. I can put it on anytime of the day and be mesmerized by its beauty. I watched it for inspiration, and it gave me much. Upon watching it this time, I couldn't help but think that the music from the Watchmen was directly inspired by Philip Glass and his music in this film and Mishima, another one of my most favourite films.

Ogami Itto falls

2009-07-19T21:10:00.002-04:00

Today marks my completion of Lone Wolf and Cub. It was epic. It was amazing. Its was touching. It was enlightening. It was incredible moving. And yes, full of action.

I finished the last chapter, chapter 142: Arms, while on the toilet. I cried while talking a poo.

Lazy and busy

2009-06-22T20:04:00.001-04:00

I'm lazy because its been months since I've written. Busy because I've been busy making Bluebird. But still lazy, because in reality, I can always find time. Like right now.

I'm making a film. Its pretty fun.

The Ides of March

2009-03-18T12:52:00.004-04:00

I feel the ides penetrating my bones. Maybe it's not really the ides, but there is definitely something in my bones, and it ain't just marrow. Moving to Yonge and Eglington took a toll on me, in the form of all my Wii controllers and my blu-ray player controller.

The time is upon me to pour myself into Bluebird. I must be focused. I must clear the ides from my bones. I must be resilient. I must be a ninja.

Who am I taking to the formal?

2009-02-17T22:49:00.004-05:00

In anticipation of our big move at the end of the month, we have been purging ourselves of all of our junk. Today, I went through piles of crap. Piles and piles of crap. Most of it was old things, memories really, of things I have kept for decades. Some highlights include:

A list, compiled by my friend Rob, of all the suitable candidates for me to take to formal during my last year of high school. The list has a legend, listing various pro's and con's for each girl.

All of my movie tickets from high school and university. It was ALOT of tickets. And included everything, from Buckaroo Bonzai at The Specialist, which I saw twice in theatres. Sad I know.

A series of workbooks from grade 4, along with several art projects. One was a pretty kickass picture of a Sabre-tooth Wasp. A very dangerous insect.

What?

2009-02-16T18:48:00.001-05:00

Why am I so confused? Oh, wait. I'm on drugs.

The Old Ones

2009-02-11T14:45:00.003-05:00

Practicing form is a way for one to channel our ancestors.

I yearn to go back, not because I miss it, but because I miss that period of time. I want to relive those memories. I want them to happen all over again. But they won't. Ever. They are gone.

Focus. Wii Fit Age: 46!!!!

2009-02-08T22:20:00.003-05:00

I hadn't used the Wii, or even really exercised for that matter, in well over a week. The result? BMI 25.06 and a Wii Fit age of 46! It was bad. My ninja training is lacking severly.

As Bluebird begins to consume my life, I need to find focus. Training will hopefully help guide me along the correct path. My mind wavers, but I must remain steadfast in my resolve.

Callbacks will be soon. The choices ahead are varied. We had a great number of talented women audition for the roles of Kate and Laurie, and very few talented men audition for Chris, Martin and Roger. It's going to be tough filling all those roles. I think we can do it, but if not, we will have to MacGyver up an actor. Always give yourself a choice.

Inspiration this week. Judith Weston, MPD Psycho, Butoh, Krav Maga.

2009-01-30T17:31:00.004-05:00

Bluebird ho!

The quest to create a film out of my script for Bluebird begins tomorrow when we start auditions. Very exciting.

The film below, Hiroshi Teshigahara's The Face of Another is one inspiration, but Teshigahara is always an inspiration, so its no surprise. He did make my favourite documentary ever after all.

2009-01-21T20:04:00.002-05:00

Wii Fit Age: 31

Well, my BMI is up to 25.12. Not very good. But I have slacked off a little, trying to sort things out before I give er'. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

This man has been part of the reason I'm not all over the exercise this week.

My Bloody Valentine had some really great 3-D effects, and some entertaining gore gags, but beyond that, the movie sucked. I'm not sure that they were trying to make a satire of 80's slasher films, but at times it felt like that. I imagine the film will not be anywhere near as entertaining on 2 dimensional DVD. Or Blu-ray.

I love my Blu-ray.

2009-01-07T17:55:00.002-05:00

Wii Fit Age:30

Like everyone else, I have made some resolutions this year. One is to become more focused on my training. More chi! Train harder! That is the kung fu motto! As part of this, I am trying to use my Wii Fit to become more in shape. So far, I have a BMI of 25, and way about 174 lbs. Not bad, considering I weighed 177 lbs when I graduated from high school, although I'm more flab now than man, twisted and evil. I think I will post my Wii Fit up dates, but probably only when I lose weight.

Another resolution is to watch every Zatoichi movie ever made. Granted, I am still trying to finish last years resolution of reading the Lone Wolf and Cub manga series (I still can't find #21!), but I will finish both. I've watched the first two, and many of them will have reviews posted over at J-Film Pow Wow, but for now, watch the fantastic scene below.

2009-01-01T16:42:00.004-05:00

Isn't it funny how for most, the first day of the new year is spent in recovery, essentially from the year before.

Kristin Thompson and David Bordwell's blog always makes me laugh, so read it. They feature several things I like. Film history, and Asian cinema. They champion the notion that "movies from Japan and Hong Kong constituted as important a contribution to film aesthetics as did the Soviet Montage movement." Now that is something I can agree with.

2008-12-19T15:20:00.002-05:00

Blogs are useless if you don't write on them. I looked up best fight scenes ever on youtube, and here is a small selection of what I found.

2008-11-23T22:46:00.002-05:00

Why I won't see Repo! The Genetic Opera in theatres

1) Darren Lynn Bousman is a terrible director. Between the three Saw films he made and hearing stories from people that worked with him, its official that he needs to stop inhaling gas fumes before going to set.

2) A film is not a cult movie when you set out to make a cult movie. A real cult movie is a film that develops a following independent of the media or the film makers. It grows on its own. Its an organic, living thing. Making terrible casting choices on purpose in order to develop that WTF mentality is not a correct course of action. You can't tell people your film is cult film. That's just not how it works.

3) There is no three.

Granted, I will see it when it comes out on video. I am still a horror fan and will watch anything and everything, regardless of how bad I may think it will be. Sometimes I am surprised. Sometimes I'm not. But I won't participate in the cult marketing strategy they've got mapped out for Repo! Its trendy bullshit masked as a cult goth film.

On a lighter note, this is frickin' amazing.

2008-11-16T19:14:00.003-05:00

Things that have impressed me

While I get rather annoyed anytime someone blows their load over the RED ONE, I was impressed with some of the press release regarding their two new camera's in development, the Scarlett and the Epic. While it essentially makes the RED ONE obsolete, and the 2009/2010 release dates means that by 2015 you should be able to actually shoot and post something with 'few' problems, the 28K Epic tickled my fancy, if only because it allows you to shoot in a native aspect ration of 2.35:1. No anamorphic lenses, no cropping of the image, the sensor is the exact size of a pristine cinematic widescreen image. I'm sure it will be beautiful, if they ever get it working.

I'm pretty worked up about Red Cliff 2. I really enjoyed the first part, and after ended, I immediately wanted to see the 2nd, which I imagine is filled with a whole lot of carnage, naval battles and good old fashioned John Woo swordplay.

Things that haven't impressed me

Couture vs Lesnar. Randy flopped like a fish. And if he didn't flop, well, he just plain stinks.

I saw the Star Trek trailer, and it looks like the O.C. in outer space. Why does J.J. Abrams suck my balls? I'm not too sure, but that guy from Heroes playing Spock is looks like he ate one too many paint chips as a child. Someone should just put him and his crappy show out of its misery.

2008-10-05T18:20:00.000-04:00

I hate computers. I did enjoy Nuit Blanche though.

2008-09-23T19:27:00.002-04:00

Celluloid Virus?

Between sleeping 3-4 hours a night, going to kung fu, eating lots of crap and getting wacked out of mind a few times, going to TIFF wore me out. Even when it was over, I still didn't sleep, and didn't really rest, and eventually my body gave out. I got sick. I dad to take a day off of work, and even now, a week and a half later, I'm still sporting a sore throat. I know pity me, watching 30 or so movies over the course of 10 days is a hard life. But it got me thinking. What if I didn't wear my body out. What if I caught something from watching so much cinema, somekind of celluloid virus.

It's transmitted through sight. Somehow, much like Sadako and her transmission through videotape, this virus can only be transmitted when the image is projected on a screen. From there, the viral photons enter you retina, which is of course the most vulnerable part of the human body, giving the virus direct access to your brain. It quickly enters the nervous system, disrupting it, and spreads like wild fire through the body via the blood stream. Soon, the celluloid virus has a grip on you, 'le grip' as the French call it, and you collapse from exaustion. Your cells are forced into a repetitive cycle of viewing their own replication an infinite number of times, until they give out. The endoplasmic reticulum collapses. Your mitochondria become disrupted. There is no mitosis, or miosos, or osmosis. DNA and RNA form into one chain of mutated horror. The RDNA. If you don't get bed rest, you will die.

There is no cure. So please give generously to the celluloid virus fund. For inquiries, please email limeyninja@hotmail.com.

2008-09-21T21:31:00.002-04:00

Robots prevail?

A common misconception about film is that its the perfect medium for robots. They can sit, for days on end, no need to eat, sleep, or urinate. They can watch a James Bond marathon without even blinking, and yet for a normal human being, that would be almost impossible to complete. Very few people could endure both the feat of physical endurance it takes to watch 40 odd hours of film and even fewer could sit through that much Pierce Brosnan and live to tell about it.

But there is a flaw with this mode of thinking. Yes robots have infinite patience and endurance, and many have the intellect to analyze a film on many levels in a nano-second, dissecting it, computing numerous theories about it's meaning and its cinematic audacity, or lack there of it. However, robots don't have feelings. They don't have the capacity to experience films on a visceral level. They may know the meaning behind a film, and they may understand that the structure of editing contrasted with the musical score and cinematic style is suppose to elicit a certain response from the viewer, but they can't feel that response, and therefore, cannot understand the true power of film. The power to move people.

Robots, in the end, loose.

2008-09-15T21:48:00.002-04:00

Still tired

The film festival ended two days ago and I'm still tired. I planned poorly. I went to most of the midnight madness films, getting home between 3 and 4 am each night. I would then be sitting in the theatre again by 9:30 the next morning. I had three nights in one week where I had only 3 hours sleep. By friday, I was in a daze. Everything became a blur. Days didn't exist anymore, as I would sleep a few hours at night, then maybe an hour or two in the day. It was just one continuous mash of film, food and power naps. But I miss it.

I miss films that make me have a physical reaction. I saw quite a few of them, and I think that's what draws me to horror films most. If they are told well, you will have a physical reaction. You may hate the movie, you may love the movie, but you will feel the movie.

JCVD - I cried. It was amazing. Thats all I need to say.

Detroit Metal City - While the message of the film is uber- cheesey, two things make this a comic gem. The first is Ken’ichi Matsuyama's performance as Soichi Negishi, which is completely over the top and utterly breathtaking. The second is Toshio Lee's direction, which transforms the repetitive stream of jokes into an original blend of hilarity and insanity.

Sauna - A brooding, existential finnish horror film from the director of Jade Warrior, it is deeply unsettling, and the ending will stay with you long after you exit the theatre.

Hunger - Visual artist Steve McQueen's take on Bobby Sands hunger strike while imprisoned by the British during the reign of Margeret Thatcher. Visual amazing. Fassbinders performance is terrific. The static long take of Fassbinder and Liam Cunningham as Father Moran discussing the ramifications of such a hunger strike is a thing of beauty.

Daytime Drinking - A Korean indie film about a guy that goes out to the country to meet his friends and get drunk, only to discover his friends won't be showing up. He spends his days wandering the countryside, drinking lots, getting into antics with the locals. This is probably the biggest surprise I saw at the festival. It was very very funny.

Vinyan - Like Sauna, another unsettling film that will stick with you long after you leave the theatre. I loved Du Welz previous film Calvaire, and Vinyan is just as effective a film. The cinematography is stunning, and established Benoit Debie, who also shot Calvaire and Irreversible as one of my favourite cinematographers.

Martyrs - I could say a lot about Martyrs, but I won't. I loved it. I loved every minute, every second. It will offend a lot of people. It holds nothing back. But it is an incredible experience. The less you know about the film the better. It starts like any other revenge tale, the heroine killing the people that kidnapped and tortured her, but then it goes places you couldn't possibly imagine. Places that will upset and disturb you. This is the kind of film that makes living worthwhile, and makes me remember why I love cinema.

2008-09-09T14:45:00.002-04:00

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Its day 6 at the festival, and I think I've finally gotten sick of the whole, piracy, pirates, rrrrrrrrrrr routine. It was funny last year. It's funny at a midnight madness when everyone does it. But at every single screening, it really becomes annoying and not very funny at all, although I'm sure the person doing it thinks he/she is frickin' hilarious, and not just a jackass.

On a more important note, JCVD is still the best thing I've seen. Although Vinyan, Sauna, Hunger and Still Walking are all equally amazing, they just didn't have the same emotional impact that JCVD did. Although the ending of all four does really stick with you.

2008-09-05T10:53:00.003-04:00

JCVD

I'm still in shock from my viewing of JCVD last night. It will be hard to see a film at TIFF this year that is better than this. But hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised. But could a film starring Jean Claude Van Damme as himself really be that good? Yes, its that good.

From the 5 minute, one take, opening action scene to the tear jerking climatic 7 minute monologue, Jean Claude delivers. The film works not only because the acting is top notch, the script and direction clever and original, and not only because you identify and empathize with Jean Claude in the movie, but also because you empathize with Jean Claude the man. And while this is indeed his comeback movie, this could be the peak of his serious acting career. Maybe.

You see, during that monologue, which he wrote himself, and which he literally pours he real heart and soul into, he isn't so much acting, as he is giving a candid diatribe about the ups and downs of his life, addressing not a character in the film but the audience directly. Its sort of like those reality show monolgues when people breakdown, spewing their guts, crying, venting. While there are ALOT of comparisons between this and 'Being John Malkovich', it should be noted that it also shares ALOT in common with 'Funny Games', from the breaking of narrative as Jean Claude speaks to the audience, down to the cathartic action ending that we are quickly denied. And while this makes THIS movie amazing, it maybe hard for Jean Claude to capture that same emotion that he did here. Its easy for him to play himself as long as he holds nothing back, but if it comes down to playing someone else, well, that remains to be seen.

2008-09-01T14:49:00.006-04:00

Fan Expo 98

Namor, champion of the sea. He was one of many engaging characters at the Fan Expo last weekend. My companion Gregory, Duke of Yorke, featured in the above photo, was captured with a plethora of our costumed friends.

There was of course everyone`s favourite Star Wars character, Porkins. Greg insisted on having his picture taken with every Star Wars character we saw. We never got our hands on a Darth Vader, and we had to chase down the lone Han Solo, but I think the crowning achievement of the expo was Porkins. I mean, that guy actually looks like Porkins!

There was a variety of Jokers at the expo. Most tried in vain to emulate Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight. Some, like the one above, weren`t too bad. Others smeared a bit of make-up on their faces, thinking that if its messy it some how captures the spirit of the Joker. Wrong. Most were crap.

And then there were banana`s.

The costumes were great. The expo, well, was a little disappointing. Yes, it was immense. Yes, there were A LOT of vendors, A LOT of things to look at, and A LOT of guests, but, at with vendors such as Zellers, and Blockbuster selling, well, things they normally sell, I wonder whats the point. Whats the point of selling DVD`s, anime and manga that you can get any day of the week for the same price. Besides a sale or two, what the vendors sold really wasn`t any different from what they normally sell. I was hoping for something rare, or some great deals. I did get a good deal from Cinema One, who was selling Tartan`s DVD`s for $8.99, so I got a bunch, but thats only because Tartan went belly up, not because Cinema One was doing something different from what they normally do. I wanted to find rare and exotic manga, but all I saw was the same old Naruto, Death Note and Lone Wolf and Cub.

On a side note, one of the highlights was trying out Wii Fit, which has now jumped up on my list of things to get for my Wii. It was frickin`sweet.

2008-08-20T14:46:00.002-04:00

I've hurt my wrist and spent the morning puking up nachos and salsa fries. So far a good day. The last three movies I've seen in theatres are Zohan, Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder, and all three got progressively funnier. Well, maybe not. I went into Zohan with no expectations, and it did make me giggle in parts. Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder I thought were comic gold. I laughed alot. Then threw up. Maybe theres a link.

2008-08-17T12:22:00.003-04:00

Olympic Inspiration?

I've been taking kung fu at Golden Harmony since March now (I think), and it is a truly amazing place, not only because Sifu Harvey is an incredible person with a ridiculous amount of knowledge to pass on, but also because of the people and the atmosphere.

I've been feeling for the last few weeks like I'm getting back, at least physically, to the place I was last year before I hurt my foot. In fact, I think, because of the change of diet and lifestyle, even more so. My endurance has definetly improved, and mentally, I feel much more focused. I do find myself out of breathe occassionally when we do more aerobic activity, but I imagine that goes hand in hand with smoking weed. Which, I am trying to minimize these days so that I don't find myself out of breathe.

But this brings me to the Olympics. Because of work, it's hard sometimes to make it to 3-4 kung fu classes a week. I'm trying to keep it at 3 classes minimum, but it's hard. I know I need to branch out into other activities, because nothing helps to get you into better shape than cross training. Your body won't grow stagnant performing the same routine day in and day out. Body confusion all the way. I started swimming again last year, but the pool down the street is a yard pool, and, call me a swimming snob, but I find it hard to swim in a yard pool and take training seriously. It almost seems like cheating. Plus, I got sick of having people getting pissed off at me because I wouldn't be floating back and forth for 30 minutes but instead making waves and constantly swimming around them.

I've been looking at Masters Swimming, but between everything else in life, I'm not sure if I can commit to that. I need to find a pool, 25 metres long, sort of close to me, that isn't filled with old people and casual swimmers. Maybe I got spoiled by the indoor pool in Georgetown. Going to Adult Swim there was always filled with a few lanes of people that were actually there to train. What to do? I can run, but, nothing makes me happier than either swimming or kung fu. Running just don't cut it.

On a side note, Michael Phelps website is pretty funny. I never realized he made so many wonderful films!

2008-08-01T23:44:00.005-04:00

I am the worlds laziest filmmaker. Not that I have a problem with that. I'm lazy when it comes to everything in life, not just make films, so I think its pretty acceptable. I'm even writing this blog a week and a half late. But thats not the point.

The point is, my short, 'Walter' screened at Drop Your Shorts, a local film festival held at the Revue Theatre here in Toronto every few months. It was a good time. It re-affirmed how much I enjoy watching a film I've made with an audience, now of this internet crap. Sure it gets you the widest audience these days unless you produce Hollywood drivel, but, as David Lynch said, "Films aren't meant to be played on a fucking phone." And I agree. More cinema please. Below is a link to Walter.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I also happened to run into former Sim employee John Baxter, who had some work screened that night. His shining moment is below. Its spectacularly funny stuff. If you like zany, monty pythonesque stuff.

2008-07-16T18:52:00.002-04:00

Fantasia 2008

Fantasia was pretty frickin' awesome. Four days wasn't nearly enough. I must return next year and stay longer, much longer.

A Colt is My Passport - Beautiful, stylish noir gangster thriller with Jo Shishido, it slowly builds to an amazing climax of bullets and cool.

X-Cross - Kinji Fukusaku made a decent movie. And while he still borrows heavily from western films, particularly the Wicker Man, he blends everything in such an original and mind bending way, that it turns into unique and enjoyable experience.

Shamo - One of two dissappoints of the festival. Wasn't nearly quite as brutal as I had hoped. It seemed very rushed, and turned out to be a jumbled mess. It did have its moments, but it just seemed like they tried to pack too much manga into one movie.

Shadows in the Palace - A brilliant period thriller, that starts off as a murder mystery in the royal palace, but eventually develops supernatural undertones. I was surprised how great, and bloody, it was.

Wicked Lake - One of the worst movies I've seen in a while. It was pointless and boring. Yes, there are lesbian witches, but that really isn't enough to make this film good. Bad acting. Horrendous cinematography (it really did look like a student film). Completely uninspired gore. I don't care if the guy from Ministry did the soundtrack, it still sucks my balls.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane - This took me completely by surprise. I don't know what I was expecting, but man oh man, definetly one of the highlights of the festival. While placing it into the unconventional american horror bill sort of gave away the ending for me before I saw the movie, it is still a great piece of American cinema.

Chanbara Beauty - Zombies. A samurai girl dressed in a bikini and a cowboy hat. What more could you ask for. How about a finale between the samurai girl in question and her evil, treacherous sister that will blow your mind. If you can accept that its based on a video game, and just sit back and relax, you WILL be entertained.

Tokyo Gore Police - Surreal, bloody as hell, perverse, completely insane and completely brilliant. I loved every second.

Robo Rock - A band that sings about not eating fish. A man obsessed with a Robot that he believes was created by the Japanese government in the 1960's. He believes the singer of the fish band has the correct voice to control this robot. But does he believe in himself enough to make this come true? A hilarious and outrageous feel good movie.

Be A Man! Samurai School - Tak Sakaguchi's directorial debut, based on manga, that stays true to the manga spirit, with ridiculous characters, great fight scenes and an incredibly entertaining story. I was surprised that this was the first film he would direct, as it relies more on the comedy than the action, but hey, he is a self proclaimed Otaku who loves Akira Kurosawa.

Akanbo Shojo - A decent horror film that starts off great, but then falls apart towards the end when it trades tension and horror for the ludicrous. But, it does have a mutant baby with a giant clawed arm and some impressive scenes of bloody mayhem.

Trailer Park of Terror - Finally, a refreshing take on the dead in the water zombie genre. Its funny and bloody as hell. How can you go wrong with red neck zombies?

2008-07-03T17:25:00.001-04:00

Bonfire Night

July the fifth has come and gone but thoughts of it still linger,
I held a banger in my hand,
Had anyone seen my finger.

2008-06-29T20:16:00.004-04:00

Millions of years old

In the dead of night, when we gaze up at the sea of stars above, what we are seeing is light, tens of millions of years old. It travels millions of light years across the universe, until it's finally absorbed by our optic centers. Now imagine what kind of insubstantial, deep space photons this light is carrying. Light that has traveled across the galaxy. Light that could be as old as the dinosaurs. Light that carries unknown properties, in minute amounts. Light that enters into our eye, into our brain, into our mind. Now imagine that you sit in a field, or some other area where the amount of light spilling from the urban landscape is at a minimum. You're out in the forest somewhere, far away from civilization. Its just you and the stars. Now imagine you lay in this field all night, not sleeping, but staring up at the stars. Now imagine you have a tent, and you sleep all day, and each night you gaze at the heavens above, absorbing the ancient light into your retina. Eventually, the cosmic rays will cause some kind of transformation. Right? The question is, how long will it take. How long will it take before the cosmic rays from the far reaches of the galaxy, carrying alien photons, change the structure of your brain, re-shaping your frontal lobe, causing you to develop incredible psychic powers. Imagine being able to control people with your mind! Imagine the power of crushing a person's heart with just a thought! Imagine what it means to be a true god of the universe! Feel the energy of this dimension and the next course through your veins!

2008-06-16T22:55:00.004-04:00

Its official, 4th edition Dungeons and Dragons sucks my balls. Despite the fact that Wizards of the Coast say they are NOT trying to compete with WOW and it's ilk, its fairly obvious they are. It seems to be aimed at 13 year old boys who want to smash orcs. Well, I guess it was always aimed at 13 year old boys, but still, it held somekind of an attraction to older, more mature players. Not it seems the roleplaying aspect has diminished considerably. All the skills, feats and spells are far more combat specific. Anything that had strictly a roleplaying effect, with no relevance to combat has been completely removed. It either works in battle, or it ain't needed in the game. It seems they really want people to play this online. I mean, who really needs to talk to real people, when you can do it all online! While I do have friends who stick to 2nd Edition, I think I will stick with 3.5.

On a side not, "The Happening" wasn't really very good, although it would have made a great short film. And "Chocolate" was also a slight disappointment. Wasn't nearly as much ass kicking as I thought there was going to be. Plus, Jee Ja Yanin doesn't have the speed that Tony Jaa or Dan Chupong have. Yes, there is a great tribute to Jackie Chan during the factory fight scene, and it does pick up towards the end, but some of it is so uninspired and recycled from other, far better, Thai action films. Still, she does learn to fight by watching Ong Bak, which is kind of funny.

2008-05-22T14:52:00.007-04:00

Being a competitive swimmer during my high school tenure, I have always been on the lookout for the perfect swimming movie.

And, alas, my dream has come true. Swimming. Japanese girls. Chainsaws. The undead. Nudity. And general mayhem. All rolled up into one wonderful film.

2008-05-04T21:12:00.004-04:00

Is cinema dead? Not the act of creating a film itself (and its subsequent release across thousands of screens Worldwide), but the narrative of cinema. The story and history of cinema itself. As cinema is an art, or at least has the potential to be an art, and the narrative of art is directly linked to the narrative of homo sapien's as a species, what happens when the story of humankind reaches an end? Or will the story of humankind ever really reach a conclusion?

Now unless I completely misinterpreted what Paul Schrader was saying in his article Film Canon, he sees humankind's narrative coming to an end in the next century, and therefore the end of the narrative of art itself. I, like David Bordwell am not quite as skeptical. I don't agree with the predicted speed or even the course of the great technological advancements that futurists Ray Kurweil and Joel Garreau have foreseen. The world in which they inhabit seems so far removed from reality, I find it hard to take serious. Have we become that egotistical that we believe we can remove ourselves that far from nature, and have the ability to have that much control over it?

I love William Gibson. I love Mamoru Oshii. And I love Masmune Shirow. But I see no sign of artificial intelligence or the end of a physical body for all conscious beings anytime soon. If Kevin Smith should be remembered for anything, it should be his hilarious short The Flying Car. Futurists in the 1950's thought we'd be colonizing Mars, and so far we've landed on the moon. Once. Maybe.

But I digress. Maybe because, as Schrader points out in the article, he has only 10 years left of film making in him, and therefore since the narrative of film is ending for him, it is ending for film itself. But I find the communal experience of going to the cinema far more enlightening than even watch a movie on my TV, let alone on my computer. Alienation is completely unnatural. We are social beings. Despite how easy it is to sit at home and play World of Warcraft, I gain far more pleasure playing Dungeons and Dragons because I interact with people face to face. However advanced the Internet may become, nothing can replace real human contact. It can be debated that the decline of our society and the rapid growth of mental and social problems can be linked to our growing lack of social interaction. There is a spiritual connection that exists between people in a theatre that cannot be replicated with 1's and 0's. It accesses a plane of consciousness beyond a computer's comprehension.

Do I think film as an art will change? Yes. I think it will become more interactive, but I think the cinema will always exist. But I also think that in 100 years, the world will be pretty much the same. I think we will people will be making short films about how the world is suppose to be filled with androids possessed with artificial intelligence, and all conscious beings will become ageless as our bodies cease to exist, but instead we still drive cars and take walks in the park. Well, maybe then, we will have flying cars.

2008-03-26T23:06:00.000-04:00

I should probably write on here more.

2008-02-27T17:28:00.001-05:00

A video I shot for the One Minute film and video festival.

2008-01-27T23:33:00.000-05:00

Monday, January 21st

4:56pm:
I purchase my ticket for the Rambo Marathon. They say it's one night
only. And I imagine they mean it. This will never happen again in the
history of the universe!

Thursday, January 24th

4:10pm:
I leave work and head for the theatre formally known as the Paramount.

5:04pm:
I take my seat. I have with me 2 bean burritos, 2 Guru iced honey green tea
drinks, 1 Aquafina + blackberry/grape, 1 almond fudge Cliff Bar and 1 Ruth's
ginger chocolate maca power bar.

5:15pm:
First Blood begins as scheduled. No previews. No commercials. Just
straight to the film.

5:16pm:
I realize that David Caruso is in this movie. Probably his best role ever.

5:44pm:
The first and only kill of First Blood takes place when Bill McKinney falls
from the helicopter.

6:45pm:
Credits roll. I run to the bathroom and ponder the film. It was great to
see First Blood on the big screen. While this, like all Rambo films,
features John Rambo taking on a vast number of men and defeating them
using guerilla tactics, First Blood has Stallone acting at his best. Say what
you will, people laughed at all points of the film, except for Stallone's speech
at the end when he breaks down and cries like a little girl.

6:58pm:
I arrive back in my seat. I now have 1 cheese pizza, 2 Guru iced honey
green tea drinks and 1 Ruth's ginger chocolate maca power bar.

7:00pm:
First Blood part 2 begins. Again right on schedule.

7:04pm:
Rambo is given his mission. Yes, it happens just that fast. That's what
makes this the 2nd best Rambo movie. Which is why it's First Blood part 2.

7:33pm:
The first kill. Shortly after that is the one and only kiss Rambo ever
receives. Another reason Rambo is such a great icon. The man is obviously
impotent.

8:45pm:
Credits roll. I take a walk to stretch my legs. First Blood part 2 aka
Rambo 2 definetly shows how the films evolved as the 80's progressed. It was
1985. Stallone had to begin competing with Schwartznegger at this point.
This was the same year that the green beret masterpiece Commando was
released, so Stallone had to really step up. And step up he did. The
explosive tipped arrows are a nice touch. And 69 confirmed kills as opposed
to First Bloods 1. But still, this is no Commando.

8:50pm:
I arrive back at my seat. They are giving away Rambo dogtags to people who
saw First Blood in theatres. I take stock of my supplies. 1 Guru iced honey green
tea drink and 1 Ruth's ginger chocolate maca power bar.

9:05pm:
Rambo 3 begins. 5 minutes late.

9:46pm:
The first kill is made. Up until this point, Rambo 3 takes the prize for
most kills, at 132, and yet it takes the longest amount of time for the
killings to start. Most interesting.

10:45pm:
Credits roll. I run to the bathroom and ponder the film. Its 1988 at this
point. Stallone was in a panic. He'd followed Rocky 4, with Over the Top
and Cobra. Schwartzneggar had Predator, Red Heat, the Running Man.
Rambo 3 didn't fare too well. Hence no Rambo until 20 years later. But, I will
give the film credit. The first 3 films do show an evolution of John Rambo
and flow together nicely.

11:00pm:
I take my seat. I now have 1 poutine, 1 Guru iced honey green tea drink,
and 1 bottle of water.

11:06pm:
Finally, Rambo 4 begins. Oh, wait, no it doesn't. They show previews for
the remake of the Eye (which shows every possible spoiler and twist for the
film in the preview) and something else that was pretty forgettable.

11:11pm:
Rambo begins.

11:14pm:
The first kill. This new Rambo film doesn't mess around. 236 kills.
Although, this first kill isn't Rambo killing people. Many of the kills
aren't. This is the Burmese at their worst. And I do mean their worst.
This movie didn't work for me mostly because it doesn't fit with the other
three at all. The tone of it is completely different. In the first
three, they at least tried to humanize some of the bad guys. Tried to make
them somewhat likeable. Not in this film. The Burmese are depicted as pure
evil. The movie is basically an ad for the invasion of Myanmar.

12:34pm:
The credits roll. I stumble out of the theatre. So much blood. The ending
of Rambo is a sight to behold. Really. Its utterly ridiculous. Rambo
marathon a complete success. The best night of my life.

2008-01-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

This Christmas I peed my pants.

2007-12-20T20:10:00.000-05:00

Finally. I've spent 20 years trying to find my rosebud, and now, here it is.

2007-12-13T19:19:00.000-05:00

Watch for falling woks.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

2007-12-12T22:02:00.001-05:00

Fourth street will rock you. The name says it all.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

2007-11-20T17:53:00.000-05:00

I don't go to the cinema as much as I'd like. I generally lack the time these days, and I really miss the Uptown. But the past few times I've been, the event itself has been so memorable, so inspiring, I couldn't help but feel a need to see everything on the big screen, in a mass group environment. To perhaps give up on DVD (or Bluray or HD-DVD or laserdisc or VCD or EVD or cerebral uploadable films).

My mind first started to wander after the double whammy of Flashpoint and Sukiyaki Western Django at TIFF. Both where awe inspiring films. Don't laugh at me, they really were. I had dreams about Flashpoint that first night. But part of what made that first experience so memorable, and so enjoyable, was the act of seeing the film in that environment. Sukiyaki Western Django ranks amoung one of my top movie going experiences of my life. Seeing Beowulf in 3-D on the Imax and Bladerunner:Final Cut within the span of a week had only solified my belief. I was almost ready to start selling off my collection.

And then I popped in Ju-rei. A typical, low budget J-horror film that uses almost every horror cliche known to modern Japanese cinema, but presents it in an interesting way. Its narrative device was the only thing that saved this from being dreck. That, and my viewing experience. I was home in the middle of the day, sick, alone. I was sprawled out on the futon. I grabbed Ju-rei completely at random. I'd already watched Black House and My Heart is that Eternal Rose. I wasn't really bother what I was about to put in. I was probably slightly delusional. And then it started. Completely shot on video. It looks like crap, but is filled with enough long, haunting shots that it still remains appeasing to the eye. If you watch this on a large screen, it would be aweful. This, like many J-horror films, was meant to be seen on your TV. Visitor Q is one of my favourite movies of all time, but I'm not even sure how that would play out in a theatre. Somethings are better left on the small screen, and some on the big.

I don't think I ever would want to see Beowulf again unless it was in 3-D and on Imax. And I will stand by that.

2007-11-14T21:46:00.000-05:00

Learning the Bokken is frickin' awesome. I almost feel like a samurai, minus the ritual suicide.

2007-11-11T19:02:00.000-05:00

Our dear friend Baxtor has decided to leave us after almost a years worth of sarcastic quips, repeated movie borrowing and never watching, and lightbulb changing. He has decided to embark on what his species, the Gannglaks (or in certain Swedish circles Pfloonfs), call their life's quest. What will become of our fine feathered friend. I do not know young readers, but do not be afraid. Baxtor is known for his supreme willpower and long, gangly limbs (ask Adam). No obstacle is insurmountable for Baxtor!

Look at him dance!

2007-11-05T18:18:00.000-05:00

Today I thought about possibly giving up writing, in support of the Writers Guild and their strike. But I don't think I would get very far in a day without having to write something. I'm looking forward to this strike. Maybe it will stop the output of crap, for at least a while. The last writers strike lasted 22 months, so if all goes well, there will be no more Saw sequels for at least 2 years. Here's to hoping.

2007-10-28T18:47:00.000-05:00

I visited Chinatown earlier this week, to catch up on my Korean cinema. The women behind the counter went through my movies as she always does, checking that they have subtitles in English. One of my selections, the Japanese fantasy martial arts extravaganza Dororo, did not have subtitles. Here is trailer for it, to give you and idea of the movie I was looking for.

In a rush, as I was suppose to meet Jason at Starbucks, I scanned the shelf, trying to find a replacement movie to complete my selection of 10. I poured over the Japanese shelf, looking for something. Anything. Should I get Devilman or Cutie Honey. Or try my luck with Nana. Before I could decide, the woman behind the counter stepped out and grabbed something from the shelf.

"This is new and very popular" she told me as she handed me the DVD. I grabbed it from her and paid my money, thanking her for the help. It wasn't until I got into the van to head home that I glanced at the DVD.

It was Blind Beast.

Here is a good review of Blind Beast over at Kung Fu Cinema.

http://www.kfccinema.com/reviews/horror/blindbeast/blindbeast.html

Now, I was of course still excited about what I got, because frankly I had wanted to see it, especially after recently watching Flower and Snake and Nampo Noir. What struck me as odd is why the woman at the DVD store thought that I would like this movie. Did she really thing that Blind Beast was a good substitute for anyone wanting to see Dororo? Does she always offer this movie to 30 something white males? Did she remember I bought Flower and Snake from her months ago? Could she sense that I was into something artistically perverse?

Whatever her reason, I thank her, and will shop there again soon. Well, maybe not too soon. I think I need to spend time watching the pile of movies I have still haven't watched.

2007-08-28T08:34:00.000-04:00

Things I learned over the weekend.

Just because you directed a music video for 50 Cent doesn't mean you are going to make a good movie. Instead, it means you make a festering pile of crap.

John Baxter will never watch Goonies.

Jet Li shouldn't have stopped taking acting lessons. Jason Statham should start.

Huerta likes to take guys down and wail on them.

2007-05-22T21:35:00.000-04:00

Tartan Video has a label branded "Asian Extreme". Extreme horror, extreme action, extreme passion. Whatever. They release some of the so-called "extreme" asian movies, a term which I wholeheartedly detest. I decided to rent the Benny Chan film Divergence, in hopes that Aaron Kwok, Ekin Chang and Daniel Wu would entertain me for 2 hours. I was wrong. The movie was terrible. It represented everything that is wrong with Hong Kong cinema. Convoluted for the sake of being convoluted, it still somehow managed to be very predictable. And melodramic. Very, very melodramatic. Which is to be expected I guess with pop icons in some of the leading rolls, but really, how much does Ekin Chang have to cry? But what made my viewing experience even more painful was the fact that the subtitles, on a North American DVD, by a supposedly respectable DVD label, were delayed by almost 5 seconds. Granted, I don't think it would have made the film any better, but it certainly made it more frustrating.

Who at Tartan picks what movies they release on their Extreme label? There was nothing extreme about Divergence. Nothing remotely interesting really. Out of all the recent Hong Kong action/thrillers, why choose this one? Something like One Night in Mongkok, also with Daniel Wu, is far more engaging and original. Even the contrived Confessions of Pain was better than Divergence. It was by far one of the worst Hong Kong films I've seen in a while. I'm still not sure about this Benny Chan fella. He's definitely hit and miss.

On a side not, I wasted another 2 hours of my life when I finally watched the pretentious snooze fest Lady in the Water. My god. The self proclaimed master storyteller M. Night Shyamalan has finally gone off the deep end. He treats the audience like morons and then basks in his own glory as the man who will save the world with his obviously important films. He seems to think he is not only the new Hitchcock, but a step above Hitchcock, because his movies will change the world! Or make us slit our wrists.

2007-05-10T22:23:00.000-04:00

Fuwa. The official mascots of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Beibei, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying and Nini. Being the somewhat naive foreigner that I am, I assumed that these 5 mystical looking characters were steeped in ancient mythological lore. Apparently I was wrong. At least somewhat.

You see, the names are structured to sound like an affection childrens name. Each one is suppose to represent a child in a closeknit group of friends. Four of the Fuwa represent popular Chinese animals. The fish, the Tibetan antelope, the panda and the swallow. The final Fuwa represents the Olympic torch. Each one has features of the animal or torch it's suppose to represent. Each Fuwa also symbolizes an element, and the landscapes, dreams and hopes of people from different parts of China. And, if you combine all their names, you get "Beijing huanying ni", or "Welcome to Beijing". So cute its repulsive.

So what at first appeared to be something magical, mystical, almost mysterious, turns out to be nothing more than a marketable advertising ploy. It will sell millions and millions of cute little stuffed toys of Fuwa all around the world. It will also ensure that the same people who buy the Fuwa know that all parts of China, no matter how remote, all minorities groups, know matter how unique, are a commodity. That they are Chinese.

On a side note, an article I wrote is up on my friend Mike's and his partner Matt's webpage http://www.ifthen.ca/. It's entitled "the easter egg hunt".

2007-04-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

This is the best website ever. http://dnd.meetup.com/ While printing up character sheets for our new Eberron characters for our semi-defunct "Pat's D&D birthday cottage weekend", I came across this page. Granted, I have enough people to play with because I'm a semi-cool nerd, but I had to check it out. Here are some of the books I recently played with.

2007-04-25T09:31:00.000-04:00

I thought my eyes deceived me. As I watched "Warriors Two" last weekend, the first time in many many years, I realized that the setting looked rather familiar. Rather Korean. And then it dawned on me. They weren't in China at all, but Gyeongbokgung. In Seoul, Korea!

I knew some kung fu films were filmed in Korea. Bruce Lee had originally used a temple in Korea (I forgot which one) as the location for "Game of Death". King Hu shot some of "Legend of the Mountain" on what appears to be Bukhansan. And many players in the industry in the 70's where in fact Korean, such as Casanova Wong and Jeong Chang-Hwa (director of "King Boxer" aka "Five Fingers of Death"), but I never realized how much of a role the small country played in the development of kung fu films.

It only make sense. After Mao had everything that looked remotely "feudal" burned to the ground, there weren't any places left too film. And that's if you could film on the mainland. Chances are you had to film in Hong Kong, choosing between the vast but still repetitive looking Shaw Brothers Studios, the occasional set built in what I imagine was the New Territories or the city streets themselves. Some, like King Hu, shot in Taiwan. And Korea, it seems, was a third option. Without access to studios like Heng Dian in Zhejiang that had yet to be built or the Forbidden city itself, Gyeongbokgung was probably one of the only large scale structures in that vicinity (at least to my knowledge, and I have been known to be wrong. This whole blog could be wrong). And in the 70's, Korea was still recovering from the Korean war, so the trade of locations for money was probably a pliable option. So why not shoot there?

My only real complaint I guess, is that knowing what it is now, sort of takes away from the movie. I mean, why is Sammo Hung practicing Wing Chun in what is obviously a Korean palace from the Joseon Dynasty. Did the Hong Kong people not care? Or, with the lack of any access to real structures of that kind (at least at that point), did they not know the difference. Then again, I didn't know the difference until I actually visited Gyeongbokgung.

2007-04-24T15:40:00.000-04:00

I guess it was only a matter of time before someone began drawing comparisons between South Korean films and Cho Seung Hui, the gunman at Virginia Tech.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-n/content/article/2007/04/19/AR2007041901817.html

After reading the article written by Stephen Hunter, I couldn't help but wonder if he really understood or even saw any of the films he mentions. Although he only marginally condemns "Oldboy" for its graphic content, despite the fact that the movie is about the futility of vengeance, he cuts deep into John Woo, one of my greatest influences. Yes, his films are violent. Yes, they feature people with two guns. But, above all, they are films about brotherhood, something Cho Seung Hui didn't understand. I find it hard to condemn a film when it was clearly misinterpreted, regardless of the influence it may or may not have had on Cho.

For one, most of Hunters arguments are flawed. Cho used two guns. So do people in Woo's films, which he carried over from his love of Westerns such as "The Wild Bunch" which so clearly influenced his cinematic style. Should we be blaming Sam Peckinpah for the events that unfolded last week? Hunter references the shoot-out at the beginning of "The Killer", claiming the events in Virgina probably unfolded in a similar fashion, offering no reference, just a wild claim. Cho walked into a room and shot some people. Chow Yun-Fat walked into a room and shot some people in a John Woo movie. Therefore, Cho obviously was influenced by this movie. Brilliant deduction Mr. Hunter. I can understand why someone like you gets paid to write lopsided articles that contain no facts, just completely fabricated arguments.

I don't think John Woo is the problem here. The man doesn't condone violence. Do I think violence in the media affected Cho. Yes. But does violence in the media affect anyone with a vast amount of mental issues? Yes. The problem is, Cho, someone who had been a known stalker, who had serious psychological issues, was able to buy guns. If he was never able to buy the guns, this wouldn't have happened. Plain and simple. Once again, the media becomes a scapegoat because parents don't want to sit down with their kids each night and take the time to monitor what they view and explain to them what is right and what is wrong.

I remember the first time I saw the JFK assassination on TV, and myself and my brother watched as his brains were blasted out the back of his head. We jumped up and down, jubilant about what we were watching. We were screaming. "Look at his brains, that's awesome!" My dad came charging down the stairs and ripped into us. He yelled at us and told us that it wasn't funny. It wasn't something to laugh it. It was horrific. It was sad. And that is what a parent should do.

We are a social species. We need human contact. Cho didn't know how to interact with the world around him. His family in Korea thought he was autistic because he rarely talked. When you spend your life in front of a computer screen or a TV, it doesn't matter what you watch. You could watch reruns of "Golden Girls" and it's still going to fuck you up. We need human interaction. Which brings us back to "Oldboy", a movie about a man locked up for 15 years (not 20 as Hunter stated), who has no human contact, only a TV. And when he finally escapes and goes on his barbaric rampage of vengeance, he doesn't know how to interact with the world around him. So if anything, "Oldboy" was not an influence on the events at Virginia Tech, but a warning.

2007-04-03T10:49:00.000-04:00

TMNT changed my life. After my first introduction at a comic book store in downtown Georgetown, I began obsessively reading all the comics and graphic novels. I built a vast network of sewers for myself and my brother to play in with his TMNT action figures. We had repeat viewings of all the movies (well, maybe not so much part 3) and had all the cartoon episodes on tape. My art club project in grade 8 was a climactic rooftop battle between the Turtles, Shredder and his Footclan cronies. "TMNT and other Strangeness" was my first foray into RPG's, which would eventually affect my life profoundly and deeply. It introduced me to the world of "Dungeons & Dragons", leading to "Dragonlance" and then finally culminating with "Darksun" (the greatest fantasy gaming world ever created, although I am now falling for "Eberron"). Needless to say, the Turtles filled a large portion of my life, and they are dear to my heart.

Fastforward to last week. I was more than ecstatic about seeing the latest TMNT movie. It had been more than 15 years since I saw a Turtles movie on the big screen, so I was more than eager to see it. And then days before, an anonymous friend told me he had got his hands on a DVD with 300, TMNT, Pan's Labyrinth and the Roast of William Shattner. I was torn. What to do? Should I watch the movie? An actual pirated movie? Should I condone this illegal act, putting our friends in the stuntworld out of work, as we learned from those happy PSAs at the local movie theatre. Piracy IS stealing, or so I've been told.

I finally reached a compromise. I mean, really, Bob the stuntman isn't going to lose any money because I watched a pirated DVD, unless, somehow, he is getting a cut of the profits. And unless he's Tom Cruise, I don't think he is. So, I decided, out of sheer curiosity, just to watch the first 10 minutes or so of TMNT, to help me work up a healthy appetite for my green-skinned friends. To ensure that the money I was about to spend was a wise decision. Unfortunately, I spent the next hour and a half watching utter and complete crap.

I won't waste my time writing a critique of a movie that destroyed part of my childhood (yes, I am taking this personally, but hey, I'm a nerd). So what is my point you may be asking yourself. Well, I'll tell you. I try to avoid piracy. I don't see the point, unless there are circumstances beyond your control stopping you from seeing the movie. This was the reason we acquired so many DVD's while living in China, because it was the only way to see these movies since the Chinese government bars all but 20 or so foreign movies per year. That and the fact they cost so little. Who would not buy a 3 disc edition of "Happy Together" for $5?

TMNT was the first time, here, in Canada, that I watched a pirated movie and was actually happy I did. I was glad I supported piracy. It saved me $15. Why would I want to pay the studio and the theatre a sum of money, which, for a trip to the theatre (the "Scotiabank theatre" to be exact, since everyone loves theatres named after banks) is quite ridiculous, only to watch them butcher something I have held dear to my heart for almost 20 years. Why would I want to support crap. Crap that, quite frankly, will both insult and impair our children's intelligence, beating them over the head with "the moral of the story." It made me cringe. It almost made me sick. I now support piracy, at least on the grounds of testing out movies you aren't so sure of. Yes, if I like the film, I will still buy the DVD, or I will still go the theatres to watch it, since nothing compares to actually seeing a film in a theatre.

But for now, I condone piracy. Good on you China and Canada for your lax piracy laws!